


All About You

by TaliaEG



Category: SHINee, Wanna One (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Awkward First Time, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Dom Lee Taemin, Emotional Manipulation, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Innocent Park Jimin (BTS), Jealousy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Obsessive Behavior, Padding Squad - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Smut, Sungwoon is a brat, Sungwoon is addictive, Well... at first, more tags incoming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-10-20 01:09:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17612585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaliaEG/pseuds/TaliaEG
Summary: There's a darkness inside Lee Taemin that wants Park Jimin but needs Ha Sungwoon.3rd September 2019 update -This fic is still ongoing! I've started editing/rewriting the first 7 chapters because when I started I had no plan (rookie) so the story shaped itself as I went along but honestly I started hating it around Chapter 5. Taemin got too soft and Jimin was bland as a character so I'm going to change that. I'll post a temporary update chapter once I've finished editing :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and first time writing anything at all really so please forgive mistakes!
> 
> It starts towards the end of 2016. Any significant canon events will be referenced but everything else is made up!

Eyeing his younger friend’s posture as he leaned over the pool table, his thumb fumbles on the lighter, the spark kissing the end of the cigarette alight. This was torture. When he was alone, he longed to be with Jimin but whenever they hung out, he was never satisfied. Why did one of his best friends act so differently with him than with everyone else? He would always observe him when they were around others, trying to understand where the cute, playful ball of fluff would disappear to when they were alone. In each other's company neither of them could fully unwind. Instead Jimin was always so calm, serious.. Sultry? He gave nothing away, and nothing frustrated Taemin more.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

“Hmm?” Taemin groaned, his mind pulled violently from his thoughts.

“That..” Jimin’s gaze flicks from Taemin’s eyes to the burning tab sticking out of his mouth and back again. “It worries me.”

Taemin slowly pulled the cigarette from his plump, pouting lips as he playfully cocked his head to the side. “Aww.. do you really care about me that much, Minnie?”

“Hyung, of course I do.”

“You do?” Taemin’s cool exterior faltered slightly, eyes widening and lips parting.  _ Pull yourself together. _

“How are you going to keep up with my moves if your body is so rotten and sluggish?” the younger teased, gently shoving the cue into Taemin’s chest. His arm lingered just a fraction of a second too long until he snapped back to pick up his glass, enough time to place a little bit of hope in the elder. Subtly shaking his head, Taemin pushed the rising disappointment back down into his stomach. All he wanted was a real sign, a sign that his best friend wanted more. Some kind of confirmation that his desire was justified. Some kind of signal that Jimin wanted to play too.

A sigh escapes his lips as he leans down to line up his shot.

\-----------------------

“Hyung, you listening?” The voice came out of almost nowhere. Its owner, Ha Sungwoon, waving his hand in front of Taemin’s face.

“Hm, yeah.”

“Obviously not” Sungwoon retorted. He reached out to place his hand on Taemin’s thigh, tracing the join in his jeans. “ I can put my mouth to better use if you want…” he almost begged.

Here’s the thing. It was very casual. He couldn’t remember exactly when it started but the two of them had found comfort in each other’s loneliness. Both had experienced the isolation of being an  _ idol _ . This untouchable figure who was so restricted and wary of any intimacy. They had become so comfortable with each other that Sungwoon could read Taemin like a book and one day he just offered to… help. It didn’t mean anything to either of them, at least not in Taemin’s eyes, and they never spoke of it. He didn’t even know if his friend was really into men or whether they both just satisfied a need the other had. He did know how handsy he was with Jimin and more annoyingly, how flirty Jimin seemed to be with him. He thought if Jimin was likely to be with anyone, it would be Sungwoon.

He hadn’t really considered his own sexuality either. He had dedicated so much of his life to himself, perfecting his dancing, his voice, his image. He never had time to think about love. There had been flings when he was younger and had more freedom, girls he liked. He enjoyed their company, the sex, but he would soon realise that nothing ever came close to that feeling he got when he was on stage. A cliché he reflected on so many times, but it gave him so much power to control a whole audience. This dark, dangerous feeling that consumed him when he danced, when his eyes darkened and his conscious thoughts were taken over by this confidence, this lust, this recklessness. He never showed this side of himself off stage, not even with Sungwoon, but Jimin... Jimin tempted him.

“Not now” Taemin effortlessly pushed his hand away, not bothering to feign any interest. He enjoyed these moments with Sungwoon but only when he really needed something. Usually it was the need to take out his anger or de-stress, but he suddenly realised he could take advantage of Sungwoon’s desperation to get the information he so badly wanted.

“Sorry Woon, i’m just a little tense.” His voice so sickeningly soft it almost floated through Sungwoon’s ears without touching the sides. He pulled the younger’s hand back onto his thigh, interlacing their fingers. “Tell me baby, do you do this with anyone else?” Taemin lowered his head down to Sungwoon’s shoulder, dusting his skin with gentle kisses, his breath tickling each little hair.

“Hyung” Sungwoon whispered into a moan, “Don’t make ‘this’ into a thing, you’ll make it weird.” His body shivered as Taemin’s tongue teased a path along his collar bone. “Who else would i do this with?”

“I don’t know, Jongin or... Jimin?”  

Sungwoon exhaled the breath he didn’t realise he was holding in and pulled away, frowning. “Jimin? I should have known I wasn’t the focus of this conversation. Let it go.”

“Hey hey hey” Taemin hushed, pulling them closer again “I’m just curious. I just thought maybe you and Jimin were closer than we are...” he trailed off, a perfect cocktail of hurt and longing appearing in his eyes as he locked Sungwoon’s gaze. “You know i want you all to myself.” Sometimes it scared him how well he played this role.

Convinced, Sungwoon relaxed into the older’s clutch again. “There’s no one else T, but I wish you could say the same.”

Whispering through his clenched jaw, Taemin wasn’t interested in quenching the younger’s neediness but knew it was what he deserved “You’re all i need, my little cloud.”

Sungwoon was melting like putty in his hands. “But that kid is wound up so tight when he’s around you, I don’t know what you’re doing to him but you make him so uncomfortable.” He pressed against his hyung’s chest so close they could almost blend together. “It makes me uncomfortable.” 

Taemin laughed with uncertainty, losing his patience and tightening his grip on his friend. “I haven’t done anything Woon. If he’s so uncomfortable with me, why did he invite me out to play pool last night?”

“Boredom? Hyung, he’s not interested in you, or any man.” Taemin’s eyebrow sprung up before he had processed those last few words.

“He told you that?”

“Mhm.” Sungwoon lied, unable to hide his jealousy as easily as the truth. Taemin didn’t want to verbalise a response, his emotions already taking over. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t a surprise, but it wasn’t welcome information. He had no reason to believe anything else. Jimin had never once showed any interest in him, no matter how much he flirted or fished for attention. The anger boiled inside him, almost preventing him from suppressing the darkness, the hunger he felt burning through his veins. Almost.

He cupped the other’s face in his hand, jerking his chin up to meet his gaze. Noticing the thirst in Sungwoon’s eyes, he let go, pushing him down to his knees. He looked just enough like Jimin to do the job tonight.

\-----------------------

The loud ‘bzzz’ on his bedside table pulls him from his sleep. Reluctantly waking his muscles, he shuffles out from underneath the shoulder pressed on top of him, covered in faint bite marks and a trail of torn skin. He admires the innocent face of the boy sleeping next to him. He can’t deny his beauty, but it just doesn’t compare to what he really wants. He makes a mental note to let go a little more next time, Sungwoon can handle it.

**_Park_ Jimin: ** Hey! Don’t forget you agreed to come to the studio after lunch. I just want to go over the whole routine with you again, you know i worry too much.

Taemin drops his phone onto his chest as the picture of Jimin panting and dripping in sweat crosses his mind, only to be reminded that ‘Jimin doesn’t like men.’ The words rang through his ears in Sungwoon’s jealous tone.

“Mmm.. morning.” Sungwoon purrs into the pillow as he attempts to shuffle himself upright against the headboard. Taemin reaches his hand out to prevent his head crashing into the wood. “I forgive you.” the younger groaned sleepily into the palm of his hand.

“Hmm?”

“For forgetting my name last night.” he responds, an obvious jab lingering in his tone.

Taemin scans his memory until he remembers.  _ “You’re such a good boy for me, Minnie.”  _

He feels bad, just a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go over their showcase routines and Taemin gets a little caught up in the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like some visual references for Taemin in this chapter, [try](https://66.media.tumblr.com/aa34524e016f809bc0b6f1852ff41296/tumblr_oyvdls7UPm1rvf2eqo2_r1_250.gif) [these](https://media1.tenor.com/images/a7bc57c5d265d57484383694c52354ad/tenor.gif) [on](https://data.whicdn.com/images/138291168/original.gif) [for](https://i.gifer.com/5luE.gif) [size.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ae/a6/d6/aea6d61bb1292df146bca201e00a9e58.gif)

Taemin takes to the floor first since, naturally, that was the order they planned. They'd both perfected their solo dances long ago but it made sense to run through from the beginning.

Like most people, Jimn was always mesmerised when Taemin danced and this time was no different. Hypnotised by his flawless figure, Jimin tracks his body intently until he zones out, staring blankly at the last space he’d stood. Taemin was everything Jimin wanted to be and more. He looked up to him so much that sometimes he couldn’t look at him at all. He got star-struck so often by this man that called himself his friend that every time they saw each other, the awe felt as fresh as the day they first met. Whilst he was no stranger to feeling out of place, feeling inadequate, Taemin gave the word a whole new meaning. Over the years, he'd learned to hide his admiration so well that he often worried it might seem like he didn't care at all. The reality was that Taemin was more than just a guy Jimin knew, he was his idol, his inspiration. If he was really being honest with himself, he worshiped the ground Taemin walked on.

“Am I boring you?” Taemin teased, compromising the fullness of his moves to focus on Jimin. “Do you know how much front row seats cost?”

Desperate to hide how much that devious smile entices him, Jimin acts unfazed and fakes a yawn. “I’m only here for the next performer.”

Taemin crumbles to his knees, clutching his chest and wincing convincingly, mocking the younger man's comeback. “Oooh, I'm hurt Minnie.” Never one to desert a dance, he adapts the last few moves to fit his newly found position on the floor, causing Jimin to erupt with laughter as he shuffles into his position at the front of the room. The heavenly sounds make Taemin's heart swell. _He's letting his guard down today._

Taemin rises to his feet and saunters over to a bench at the side of the room, perching on the very edge to get the best view of Jimin's form as he stands alone in the center of the floor.

The intro to 'Lie’ seeps through the speakers and the second Jimin’s head rolls sensually from shoulder to shoulder to the _‘yaaah’_ filling the room, the moment feels intimate. Taemin wonders if Jimin would recreate that noise if he walked up behind him and grabbed a fist full of his hair. Would he make the same noise if he bit down on the inside of his thigh? He’s captivated by the subtle sway of Jimin's hips as his delicate little hands grasp at his neck (without a doubt his favourite part of the choreo) and Taemin’s cock twitches at the thought of replacing them with his own.

There was something about Jimin that fascinated him. He was undeniably beautiful on the outside but carried so much pain behind his eyes, the torture screaming through his pupils. Taemin hadn't felt this way before, about anyone. With Sungwoon, it was all physical, at least for him. He didn't care any more about Sungwoon's whereabouts or feelings at any given time than the rest of his friends. But Jimin was different. He filled every silence among his thoughts, every blank space when Taemin closed his eyes. He wasn't easy to read, he gave nothing away and Taemin had no idea what the younger man wanted from him. Sometimes he thought he caught him staring, only to flinch away when he looked back. ‘ _You make him so uncomfortable’_ Sungwoon taunted in the back of his mind, _‘he’s not interested in you, or any man._ ’ That wouldn’t curb his desire, nothing could. The twisted darkness longed to own him, destroy him, fix him. To drown with him at his worst and to elevate him at his best. He wanted to be the source of Jimin's pain and torment, he wanted to be the reason Jimin laughed, cried, breathed. He wanted to weave himself inside Jimin's brain, pulling the chords of every rope in his body, controlling the air inside his lungs and the blood running through his veins. But Jimin had to want it too. _And he will._

He calms his thoughts just in time to get back on the dancefloor. This is where things got difficult, when they danced together, not because they don't know their steps but because Jimin just can’t keep a straight face. He's giggling uncontrollably to combat his nerves every time they face each other and it's infectious. Taemin isn’t used to seeing him so giddy in his presence and he treasures every single second of it but really, the whole thing is disastrous. Jimin makes so many silly little mistakes that sooner rather than later, the mood flips. He's starting to get frustrated at himself and he’s terrible at disguising it. That's the one sure piece of information Taemin had gathered about Jimin over the years - it’s all fun and games until his insecurities get the better of him.

By the ninth or tenth go round, Jimin is fighting back tears.

“No no, it’s okay Minnie. Lets just try again.”

“What's the point. I can't get it right.” the younger sulks, seconds away from giving up.

Taemin relishes seeing Jimin’s pretty face so hurt and torn. In that moment, he had no desire to comfort him. He'd witnessed Jimin's vulnerability a few times in his life, but this was the first time he had the pleasure of experiencing it when they were alone. A need pulsed inside him. He was not going to pass up this opportunity.

“Jimin.” his voice deepens, spelling out every letter like it was a threat. “Try again.”

Jimin paused, eyes wide and lips apart, hairs standing up on the back of his neck. His body made a move before he even realised he was responding, turning on his heel to get back into position. He didn’t have time to make sense of the twisting in his stomach or the icy cold feeling trickling over his exposed skin. He just had the overwhelming compulsion to _try again_. He spins round on the balls of his feet, shifting his weight from one foot to the other too quickly, his urgency muddying his rhythm.

“Slower.” Taemin growled softly.

Jimin could barely handle the pressure he usually put on himself, but _this,_ knowing he had Taemin’s undivided attention, it was too much. He didn’t want to disappoint the man he looked up to so much, he needed to impress him, he had to. But his body betrayed him. His knees buckled, legs shaking under his weight. With a cry, he collapsed to the floor. His eyes locked onto one of the many scuff marks on the dancefloor beneath him in attempt to gain some kind of composure, but it was hopeless. He could feel Taemin’s eyes burning holes in the back of his neck. Nothing hurt, he hadn’t injured himself, so why were there tears threatening to roll down his cheeks?

The room was so still, so silent that Jimin could hear his heart thumping in his chest. _You’re useless._ He was about to spiral into that self-destructive pit he had familiarised himself with so well, hoping that if he squeezed his eyes shut the feeling would fade away or that he might disappear altogether. It just made the drumming in his ears louder, so loud that it drowned out the sound of steady footsteps approaching him. The noise stops abruptly when his eyelids break open, eyes met by the pair of black shoes in front of him.

Taemin crouches down, somehow still towering over the boy splayed on the floor in front of him. He chuckles lightly but no part of the noise rings pure. Jimin couldn’t understand why he didn’t mind feeling this vulnerable, why his body was reacting to the older man’s pull like a magnet. He felt ashamed, humiliated and… something else. _You’re weak._ His thoughts were swallowing him whole.

Taemin squeezes Jimin’s shoulder, causing his whole body to jolt at the sudden touch and Taemin can’t help but hum in satisfaction at the response. He lifts Jimin’s chin with his other hand, searching his glazed eyes, trying to pull him back into the room. “Keep your eyes on me.”

He rises to his feet, backing away but not once softening his gaze. He dances effortlessly, repeating the move Jimin can’t get right at various different speeds and Jimin can’t help but feel like he’s taunting him. If Jimin didn’t already feel insignificant, he did now.

“Just like that.” He takes a step back into the sidelines. He lowers his tone again, smirking at Jimin but gesturing towards the mark on the floor. “Do you think you can do that for me?” It wasn’t really a question, more like a challenge.

Jimin stumbles to his feet and stares at them, silently begging them to work properly. He hesitates, looking over at Taemin, seeking reassurance, _or was it permission?_ He was stunned by just how enticing he looked, leaning back against the wall, arms folded and head angled low, eyes darkening by the second. He nods, the movement small but powerful enough to send a shock through Jimin’s body..

This time he gets through it without any faults, finishing with a triumphant but ridiculous pose and laughing towards the ceiling with relief. He swings round playfully, desperate to hear the words of praise that he lives for, beaming the most beautiful, wide smile that squeezes his eyes shut. He feels so warm and fuzzy and proud… until he sees Taemin’s expression, and then his heart stops.

He’s not smiling back.

He doesn't look happy at all.

He's not going to praise him.

Throughout all their time as friends, he had no idea that Taemin’s warm, welcoming face could look like _that._ His features seemed sharper, devilish. His eyes filled with lust, piercing through the strands of hair that had fallen out of place over his brow. His chest was rising and falling with urgency, hands balled into fists, gripping the sides of his trousers tightly. His eyes squint momentarily as he bites down on his bottom lip.

Skirting round the idea that this might be Taemin's idea of a joke, Jimin forces a nervous laugh. When the corners of Taemin's lips twist upward but his eyes don't mellow, he realises it isn't. He freezes, caught off guard by a sudden desire to surrender himself completely. The need was so overpowering it paralysed him. It was stupid to even think about really, but he thought Taemin might just eat him alive. Confused by how much he welcomed that train of thought, he tried to turn away, but he couldn't move.

Taemin stalked towards him slowly, savouring the delicious blend of anticipation and confusion on his face. There was no battle for control in his mind anymore, only one clear voice, and it's not his own. He gets closer still, fueled by the insatiable thirst that has taken over. He's within reaching distance from his prey when everything happens at once.

Jimin, having somehow regained the ability to control his limbs, takes an unsteady step back. As if by some miracle, the door swings open, a member of staff bowing at Jimin as she enters the room, relieving him of his uncertain fate. Taemin stops dead in his tracks like the power inside him cut out.

The sudden break in tension allowed him to sober his thoughts. _His_ thoughts. Jimin had stepped back. That wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't ready. _You ruined everything_ . Why had he been so reckless? How did he lose his composure so easily? The thirst inside him was soon overshadowed by rage. He was so angry at himself, his stupidity. This was the first time he felt anything from Jimin and he went too far. _You messed it all up_ _._ The thoughts suffocated him until he couldn't breath. He needed to feel control again.

He hurled himself towards the door, gasping for air. “I gotta go.” His words barely audible above the slam of his body against the wood. Jimin seemed too distracted by the woman in front of him to notice just how hurried his movements were. His fingers fumble through his pocket frantically as he bolts down the stairs, clawing for his phone. Once in his grasp, his thumb stamps firmly on the keypad, holding down ‘2’ until the call kicks in.

“Woon?”

“Speak of the devil..”

“I’m heading home, i need you to be there when I get back.”

“Huh? but we're just heading for some karaoke. Why don't you come here?”

“Leave. Now.”

"But hyuuung…”

“Don't make me tell you again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two pictures that 'helped' Taemin:  
> [1](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e8/42/a7/e842a7c3b519af58dc9765751c7a7b7f.jpg) & [2](https://pm1.narvii.com/6323/78e0291ed381f691cec503987c2e4514b3f97367_hq.jpg)

Taemin storms through the front door of his apartment, tearing his jacket off like burning lava and flinging it over the arm of the sofa as he passes.

The bedroom door swings open and Sungwoon is already on his feet, alert after hearing all the noise outside. His body stiffens as Taemin appears in the doorway, the older man's hungry eyes scan over his body, glazed but visibly darker than he's ever seen before, consuming every inch of him. It felt like if Taemin had been stranded in the desert, he was the water his body craved.

“Hyu..”

“Don't talk.”

Taemin rushed forward, clawing at the fabric of Sungwoon's shirt, pushing him against the wall.

“I need you.” he growled, slamming their lips together hopelessly, both so eager that neither one was leading the kiss. Everything Taemin did was usually so methodical, calculated. He took such pride in being so meticulous and precise, having that sweet grasp of control in every action he took. But this was way too sloppy, chaotic, almost violent.  _ It's not enough. _

They break apart, Taemin's hands fumbling down Sungwoon’s shirt, carelessly tearing the buttons from their strings. Being patient was never his strong suit. They push back into the kiss, breathing each other in like the oxygen they need to survive.  _ Hurry up.  _ Hooking his fingers underneath Sungwoon's collar, Taemin drags his nails mercilessly along his soft skin as the shirt falls the the floor, that  _ need _ inside him feeding on the strained moan that escapes the younger's lips as his back slinks down to the floor to ease the pain.

“Look at me.” Taemin snarls as be unbuckles his belt, yanking the leather from each loop and tossing it to the floor. He’ll never get used to that pleading look in Sungwoon's eyes, he's so needy it's almost pathetic. Engulfed by the selfish demands of the voice in his head, he shoves his trousers down enough to pull his aching cock from his boxers, just enough freedom to press himself against Sungwoon’s swollen lips. He clasps the younger’s jaw, his own clenching in unison as he eases himself inside his mouth, the sudden warmth finally granting his body permission to loosen the tension he’d been harbouring since he left the practice room. Sungwoon's jaw loosens with every bob of his head, his throat relaxing to take him in, inch by inch until his nose grazes across his soft black curls.

A smug smirk tears across the older’s cheeks as he revels in his own pride, feeling Sungwoon’s tongue teasing out beads of precum from his tip. He’d trained his friend so well, at times like these he questioned whether Sungwoon had been put on this earth just to please him. His head lulled on his shoulder, letting the frustration of his stupidity sail to the back of his mind. He basked in the warmth of Sungwoon's mouth for what seems like ages until a sharp jolt shocks through his body, his muscles clenching to counter the shudder running through his thighs. _Wait, where did he learn that?_ Taemin couldn't tell exactly what Sungwoon was doing, but it felt incredible. If he kept this up, Taemin would come undone in no time.

But he couldn't. Because it stopped.

The sudden chill of cold air breezing over the saliva coating his cock snapped him from his thoughts. He threw his head down to look at the gorgeous boy on his knees, two seconds ago working wonders with his tongue, now sat upright, hands behind his back and a daring look in his eye. Taemin can read him like a book, the predictability settling the darkness inside him as he slips into a more familiar mindset. He’s unable to suppress his amusement, slightly insulted that Sungwoon actually thinks he has any control of the situation.

He tugs the boy’s head back with a growl, his hands knotted in his hair. “How cute. You think you can tease me?” The change in Taemin’s tone isn’t lost on either of them and the way he scoffs makes Sungwoon feel so small, so useless. He steers the younger's head down, his chin flush against his chest, to see the wet patch forming on his jeans. “Look at you, you're enjoying this more than I am.” Taemin spits the words out, putting Sungwoon back in his place. ”You're gonna regret that.”

He forces himself back into the warmth of Sungwoon's mouth, fucking his face forcefully. It wasn’t necessarily in the boy's nature to be submissive, he liked to test Taemin’s patience, but his longing for the powerful figure in front of him overrode the voice egging his rebellious side on, and so he accepted his fate, his head falling weightless in his friend's hands. Taemin is too astray to care that he’s gagging, he knows that if the boy wanted it to stop, he would pinch his thigh like they’d established long ago. Sungwoon looks up through his fluttering eyelids and Taemin sees his persistence as a challenge, pushing him back against the wall, head bouncing off the plaster with a thud as his eyes wince shut. Holding Sungwoon’s head still, he shoves himself back in between his wet lips, his cock pressing against the softness at the back of his throat. Sungwoon instinctively tries to back up but he’s got nowhere to go, the involuntary resistance driven by his basic need to breathe and swallow overpowering his will to please. His face flushes as he struggles for air, tears pooling in his eyes. Taemin tightens his clasp on the sides of his head as Sungwoon’s throat constricts, failing to close around the obstruction that isn’t moving. It's almost too much.

Sensing that Sungwoon might be too light-headed to know his own limit, Taemin backs away, pulling his cock violently from his mouth. Sungwoon, utterly debilitated, is gasping for air, almost choking as he gulps it down. His hands reach for Taemin's abs, assuming his earlier behaviour was forgiven, but they're swatted away.

“Oh, now you wanna touch me?”

Sungwoon nods, widening his puppy dog eyes. Taemin runs a finger around Sungwoon's hairline lovingly, stopping under his chin. “And I guess you want me to touch you too?” Another timid nod shakes a drop of saliva from the junior’s chin, which Taemin catches on the pad of his middle finger and feeds back to him, sensually sliding it over his bottom lip. He sucks obediently, his seductive eyes fixing on Taemin’s soft smile.

Every nerve in his body surges with excitement as Taemin crouches down to lift him to his feet and move him gently to the bed. He's fixated on the breathtaking man now stepping out of his clothes in front of him, the tentativeness of his movements something he's not quite used to. His eyes lock on  to the familiar clear tube that Taemin pulls out of the bedside table.

“I know this is your favorite part...” The words melt through Sungwoon’s mind like butter. It  _ is  _ his favorite part, the build up. The shock of the ice-cold lube on Taemin’s finger as he traces around his rim, the delicious discomfort of being stretched in preparation, the anticipation of what comes next. The tube, now sitting on the top of the table, stares at him, taunting him, an incentive to behave maybe? Sungwoon’s stomach jumps with the hope that he’ll have to work for his prize, but the dark chuckle that leaves Taemin's mouth puts doubt in his mind.

“If only you'd been a good boy, you'd get what you want. But you just had to be a fucking tease, didn’t you?”

In one swift movement Taemin is mounting Sungwoon, his body hovering a hair’s breadth above the half-clothed boy beneath him. Sungwoon's head falls back to the mattress, his eyes shut and mouth hanging open with anticipation. He feels a soft tickle against his chest, a finger delicately trailing down to his abdomen and Taemin's lips brushing against his own so lightly, they're barely touching at all. The younger's head rises to try and deepen the touch but Taemin's one step ahead, pulling away just enough to keep the torturous distance. The wandering finger reaches the waistline of Sungwoon's jeans, toying with the zip. Taemin whispers sweetly into his mouth, as he lifts his finger away. “I'm not going to touch you.”

The silence that falls after Taemin shuffles off the bed deafens Sungwoon as he realises what those words mean. That wasn’t what he intended at all. A pout forms on his face as Taemin throws the lube onto his chest, his expression seemingly unaffected. Sungwoon feels a small snag where the tube landed as he questions whether Taemin really isn’t bothered about about  _ whatever this is _ , at all.

“Do it yourself.” Taemin commands with a grin on his face that reassures Sungwoon - this isn’t over yet.

The boy whines as Taemin delves into the pile of denim on the floor, fishing out his phone and heading towards the bathroom. The door clicks behind him and only then, when he's alone again, he loses his cool. His hands falling onto the surface in front of him, the only thing holding him up as his head dangles in front of his chest. He can’t think straight, he’s not thinking at all. Thinking requires a process, options to consider, a decision to make. There's nothing to think about because there’s only one word sewn into his mind when he's alone. Jimin.

The thoughts coming flooding back, the vicious voice reminding him he had Jimin in his grasp and ruined everything. His mind focuses on the last memory of Jimin's face, that fear, the confusion. Was he disgusted? Maybe Sungwoon was right, maybe he didn't like men at all. Or had he felt betrayed, a man he trusted taking advantage of him.  _ What if he tells someone.  _ No, there was something else. The way Jimin reacted when he asserted his dominance, that wasn't a lie, nor was the way his body shuddered when Taemin took that first step towards him. There was no use trying to make sense of his memories now, half-clothed, hiding in his bathroom, with his dick in his hand.  _ Oh. _ He hadn't even realised his hand instinctively surrounding himself the moment he thought about Jimin and he's taken back by just how hard he really is.  _ Fuck it.  _ This might be the last bareable memory of Jimin he'll ever have.

He unlocks his phone, pulling up the folder of Jimin he’d pieced together over the last year, selfies, pap shots, performances, anything he could find. His finger lingers over his most recent addition, a still of Jimin blindfolded during the Boy Meets Evil stage at MAMA just the week before. There's something about his pose, the way his head is tilted back, the delicate waistcoat accentuating his figure. Taemin had never seen Jimin look so submissive, so obedient. Scenarios flash through his mind as he runs his fist up and down his length; Jimin gagged and blindfolded, tied to his desk chair; Jimin sinking to his knees in the dance studio, hair matted to his forehead with sweat; Jimin's naked body writhing underneath him as he denies his release. He scrolls through more pictures, too worked up to care that none of that will probably ever happen now. His strokes become erratic as he whispers to the still image on his phone. “Look at what you do to me”, his dick dripping with desire.

He hears an exaggerated cry out of thin air and jumps back in panic. Oh yeah.... Sungwoon's still there. He stares at himself in the mirror, barely recognising his disheveled reflection, before heading back to the bedroom.   


He’s greeted with the most enticing sight. Sungwoon is propped up against the headboard, his furthest leg pressed up to his chest, his closest leg stretched out wide, glistening fingers dipping inside himself. Taemin throws his phone onto the mattress, startling the boy who’d been too emersed to hear the door creak. His eyes light up as Taemin opens his mouth to speak.

“Are you gonna behave now?”

Sungwoon nods enthusiastically, clearing regretting his earlier rebelliousness. He has no idea if talking would jeopardize his enjoyment of the rest of the evening, so he removes his fingers with a whimper and repositions himself on his hands and knees as a show of remorse. Taemin's head tilts to the side, as he appreciates the offering. _ You'll do. _

He climbs onto the bed and Sungwoon shuffles backwards eagerly to meet him, his ass wiggling in the air graciously. Taemin slaps it playfully before warning him to stay still. He trails his thumb down the boy's spine, enjoying the way Sungwoon's hips twitch at certain stops along the way, until it circles around his rim. Sungwoon is already pumping his own cock, the anticipation giving him a high almost better than sex itself. Taemin slides his thumb inside him slowly to test the waters, his knuckle disappearing with ease. He guides the tip of his cock to his entrance, brushing against his thumb as he pushes himself inside. Sungwoon is muttering profanities into the pillow, the pressure of the thick cock and thumb inside him bordering on uncomfortable. Taemin's head rolls back as he pulls his thumb out, savouring the way Sungwoon's ass clenches around his dick with the extra digit gone, and picks up his speed. As usual, Sungwoon starts spouting all kinds of needy nonsense the second his ass gets pounded and Taemin tuts in disappointment.

He leans forward until his chest is flush against Sungwoon's back, bringing him close enough to pull the boy’s chin up, the action making his whole body stiffen. The older slides his hand around Sungwoon's throat, enjoying the feeling of his Adams apple bobbing against his palm as he swallows. His lips brush against Sungwoon's cheek with each thrust of his hips as he focuses on keeping his voice stable. “I don't remember saying you were allowed to talk.” He coos into Sungwoon's ear, fully aware of how sexy he sounds. “Are you testing me?”.

Sungwoon shakes his head until Taemin shoves it down into the pillow, using the force to push himself back up straight. Not just a power move, Sungwoon was now facing away from Taemin's phone, unable to see the man buried deep inside him begin swiping through pictures of their mutual friend. For the last five minutes, Taemin had been trying to think of anything else but that unreadable face, that painful memory etched into his mind, but even the tightness of Sungwoon's ass around his cock wasn't taking his mind off it. It wasn't working. He was falling apart, desperate to replace the vision with anything else. He finds his favourite of Jimin’s selfies, the boy staring at the camera, covered in sweat with his his tongue rolled over his top teeth. His brain steps into the fantasy that it's Jimin he's fucking, not Sungwoon and before long, he's lost.

“Such a pretty face, is that where you want my cum baby?”

He hears a soft “yes please” in the distance and to his disappointment, it's still Sungwoon.

“I told you not to talk” Taemin scolds, slapping his ass hard. He quickens the pace, staring at the red mark flushing on Sungwoon's skin. Out the corner of the eye, he registers his phone screen turn off.

No, not off, there's text in the middle.

  
  


**Park Jimin**

**📞**

**ACCEPT | DECLINE**

 

_ What the fuck. _

He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, expecting to see a black screen when he looks again. No, it's real. Beyond flustered, he almost doesn't answer it in time.

"Jimin?" He felt Sungwoon tense, inside and out.  _ mmm. _

"Hey…” his voice fragile and unconvincing “I guess you got an urgent call or something.” Taemin's eyes close at the sound of his voice trickling into his ears like honey, weakening him by the second, but he doesn't respond. “..I just finished here. I need a drink. Do you.. do you wanna grab a drink?"

_ What? _ Taemin's brain scrambles at the realisation, he didn't scare him off. His hips begin to roll on their own, fingers failing to grip Sungwoon’s sweat-laced hips.  _ Jimin's hips. _

“Uh- yeah? Sure.”

"Okay, I'll meet you on the corner in 10 minutes?"

"uhuh..." he manages between muffled groans as Sungwoon's hips rise in an attempt to twist round to see the source of the distraction. Taemin pushes him back down, not wanting the sight of Sungwoon's fucked out face to pull him from the fantasy.

“Great, I'll see you soon then.”

Taemin moaned into the phone. His body fell forward, the weight pushing Sungwoon's body further down into the mattress. His free hand gripped the back of the boy's neck to brace himself as he slammed into him harder. Wait, Jimin had stopped talking.  _ Say something. _

“Wait. Earlier…”

“Oh, no, It's okay, I..."  _ keep taking, I'm close _ "...You really helped me, hyung."

Taemin comes loose at the sheer gratitude in Jimin's voice, collapsing on top of Sungwoon, using the back of his neck to diffuse his moans. His thrusts become erratic, the fingers clutching his phone trembling as he pumps every last drop of cum inside him. Hit with the realisation that Jimin is still hanging on the line, an unfamiliar feeling of regret washes over him and he mumbles quietly into the handset before hanging up. “Mmh- see you in 10.”

He licks the back of his friend's glistening neck, a hallmark touch he always added, as he rode through the wave of pleasure. Desperate to leave, he turns on his charm, cooing in Sungwoon's ear. “I’m sorry baby, I have to go.” The soft sound jarrs with the sudden emptiness Sungwoon feels as the older pulls out. Taemin takes a moment to find his balance and settle his aching knees before rolling off the bed.

“Did you really just… wait you're leaving?!” the younger protests as he wriggles round onto his back, glaring up at Taemin in disbelief. He's silenced by a gentle kiss pressed to his forehead.

Taemin gathers up the clothes he'd actually had the patience to remove and makes a b-line for the door, shouting back over his shoulder to the naked boy left pouting on the bed. “As much as it pains me to say this, you're going to have to get yourself off tonight.” It wasn't really a lie, he loved making Sungwoon come but right now he would leave Sungwoon trapped in the jaws of an alligator if it meant he could see Jimin. He dresses himself on the move, hearing Sungwoon's whines fade away as he leaves.

\-----------------------

They’re on their third round of drinks by the time  Jimin is able to really look Taemin in the eye, hoping that by avoiding eye contact, they wouldn't have to face the reality of what happened earlier. The idle chit chat that had sustained the evening so far was better than an awkward silence. That is until two bottles of beer later when Jimin is loose-lipped and the topic of conversation approaches the inevitable. “Thank you for always pushing me, hyung. I need a friend like you”.

_ Friend.  _ Taemin winces at the word as he repeats it  over and over in his head, hoping to find another meaning hidden in it somewhere.  _ But he needs me.  _ Taemin had considerably less to drink out of the two, it was in his nature to want to stay in control,  but he felt like his brain was all of a sudden jumbled. “Earlier, i wasn't feeling… I wanted to…” he stops, unsure of the words that may slip out of his mouth. “Jimin, do i make you uncomfortable?”

The very question alone made Jimin  uncomfortable, so much so he had to physically adjust himself, like the chair had warped underneath him. His mouth opened automatically, ready to spew some witty remark to steer the conversation elsewhere, but he hesitated under the pressure. Still fidgeting nervously, he finds the courage in his latest sip of beer to squeak out a response. “I find you… intimidating. But, it's not a bad kind of intimidating. Like… earlier.”

“Jimin I…”

“You were so..” his leg starts rocking, vibrating the bottles on the table. He visibly shivers whilst racking his now unreliable brain for the right words. “I liked it.”

Taemin sucks in the air around him. _ fuck.  _ His heart quickens and he sobers up in seconds. Taken aback by how forward Jimin is being, he has to physically ground himself, his hand gripping at his own knee painfully to keep him planted in reality. As he reaches for another bottle to calm his…  _ this must be nerves? _ he clocks just how drunk Jimin must actually be, there's no way he'd be hearing any of this if he was remotely sober. But that likely meant he was telling the truth, or at least that's what Taemin told himself to excuse the fact he was already reaching out to take advantage of him. Right on cue, Sungwoon's voice creeps into his mind once again, stopping his arm in its tracks.  _ ‘... or any man'. _ This time, seeing the flush on Jimin's cheeks, Taemin doubts the warning. He slides his hand onto Jimin's thigh, an act of desperation disguised as a move to stop that irritating tapping sound. His index finger, with a mind of its own, begins tracing soft little circles into his leg. The younger's breath hitched as the circles widened.

Taemin slows his own breathing in attempt to keep his composure and lowers his voice so no-one else can hear, hoping Jimin will match his volume. “Tell me why you liked it.”

There's a demand in his voice that even Jimin wasn't drunk enough to miss, and once again, his body reacted without permission, the fabric around his crotch growing tighter. “It was like you took away my free will and every bad thought I had just, disappeared.” Taemin stays silent, hanging on to his every word. “It was refreshing. To hear nothing… but you.”

Taemin’s jaw dropped, a sharp breath expelled from his lungs. This was everything he’d ever wanted, Jimin to need him. He was so sure he had ruined his chances permanently and here they were, less than 4 hours later, Jimin admitting he  _ enjoyed _ following Taemin's orders?  _ Don't get ahead of yourself, he probably won't remember any of this anyway. _

With that likelihood tempting him, Taemin shuffles his chair back to clear an uninterrupted path towards Jimin, who is now wavering near unconsciousness. He puts his bottle down on the table so lightly, Jimin wasn't anticipating the feeling of his fingers suddenly caressing his neck. Taemin's thumb presses delicately above Jimin’s collarbone, completely unaware that he's toying with his weak spot. The euphoria making it even harder for Jimin to continue with his revelation.

“Y'know, It's hard to... treat you like a friend when you're more like… a god.”

_ God? _ Taemin's body quivers at the thought of Taemin worshiping him at his feet. He’s on the brink of self-imploding, barely able to process everything Jimin has said and done today. From the look on his face in the studio to his drunken confessions around the table. But it's not concrete enough, to anyone else his words could sound more like he's just a start-struck young boy with low self-esteem. He didn't say he  _ wanted _ him, or that he was even attracted to him. With a sigh, he leans further forward to press their foreheads together, as if Jimin would be able to hear his thoughts this close. _ Tell me what you want from me. _

Jimin relaxes into the older's grasp as the pressure disappears from his forehead, his head lulling to the side to create more space for Taemin to caress. For what seemed like ages, Taemin kept circling Jimin’s thigh with one hand and tracing around his collarbone with the other, he always had to fiddle with something when he was anxious. It falls into a perfect rhythm that Jimin's brain couldn't handle any longer. He lets out a soft moan as Taemin's fingers rise higher up his thigh, brushing lightly against the bulge in Jimin's sweatpants. The bulge that Taemin only just noticed.

_ Holy shit. _

He feels his own cock awaken as he hopes Jimin has enough awareness left to know he's reacting this way. Now overly aware of their surroundings, he casually rubs his palm over the top of Jimin's crotch, keeping the movement subdued but pressing down like he's kneading dough, and Jimin slumps down a little further into the chair, his legs drifting further apart.

_ This is it. _

“Please… don't sto...” Jimin whimpers quietly, using his remaining energy to pipe out the last few syllables before dozing off entirely.

“Are you kidding me?” Taemin shouts into the air through gritted teeth, as he slumps back into his chair, waving at the bar staff to bring him another drink. The moment had slipped out of his grasp.

\-----------------------

After an excruciatingly difficult struggle to get Jimin in and out of the taxi, they arrive at Taemin's flat. Hoping that Sungwoon didn't decide to outstay his welcome, the older calls out for a response, hoping Jimin is too drunk to remember he lives alone. Hearing no response, they wobble through the door, Taemin having downed a few bottles of beer in frustration before he called for the taxi and Jimin being about as cooperative as a plate of jelly. Taemin crouches down in front of him, pulling his limp arms around his neck. “Come on baby, work with me.” He manages to hoist Jimin up onto his back and wraps his thighs around his waist, holding them tightly against his body as he walks towards his bedroom.  _ He's easy to manhandle _ .

His plan was to ease Jimin onto the bed without too much disturbance, but obviously Jimin had other ideas. Somewhere between leaving the taxi and getting a piggyback ride through Taemin's flat, Jimin had entered ‘playful drunk’ territory and soon found the whole situation overly amusing. Stubborn as always, he refused to unwrap his legs from Taemin's waist, clinging on to his warm back like a needy, giggling koala.

“Oh that's how it's going to be?” Taemin teases as he sits on the side of his bed, human backpack still firmly fixed in place, and fights against Jimin's wiggling toes to slip his shoes off. He hooks Jimin’s knees under his arms to keep him in place and tickles his feet relentlessly, forcing the most heavenly, soft giggles out of him as he tries to wriggle away. When Jimin finally succeeds at squirming out of Taemin’s grasp, he flumps onto the bed… and that's about the time he decides to start shedding his clothes.

Taemin, very content with the whole situation, sits back and watches as he tries to peel himself out of his jumper, whining like a puppy the second his arms get stuck over his head. Taemin’s eyes fall to the smooth slither of skin peaking out from above the waistline of Jimin’s jeans, the idea of taking advantage of the boy's self imposed arm restraints really testing his self discipline. He'd already crossed a line tonight.. but Jimin was sobering now and Taemin resolved that he wouldn't touch him again until he asked him to. Maybe it was the alcohol boosting his ego, but he had no doubt that before long, Jimin would ask.

Jimin squeals, forgetting how and why he’s in his current predicament, only processing that it's dark and his arms are in a bind. After witnessing enough future teasing material, Taemin finally resolves to help, and the jumper saga is over.

Jimin falls back down on the bed with a defeated sigh, accepting that the mammoth task of getting undressed isn't worth the hassle after all. Sinking into the pillows, he looks so serene, so breathtakingly beautiful that Taemin reconsiders the promise he made just seconds earlier. An battle of morals plays out in his head, and he concedes, he won't touch him again…  _ after this _ .

He brushes the hair from Jimin's brows, studying every line and pore on his face, watching his eyelids twitch as his body slows down, his chest rising and falling into a slow rhythm. Once Taemin is certain he’s asleep, he runs his thumb over Jimin’s lips, mirroring the action on his own lips with his tongue.

“You have no idea what I'm going to do to you.” His threat dissolves into a whisper before he plants the softest of kisses onto his lips, pulling away agonisingly slow, clenching every muscle in his body like it’s the only way he can trust himself to stop. _Not like this._ Hit by the dawn of his own exhaustion, he slumps into a chair in the corner of the room, keeping a watchful eye on his sleeping beauty until he dozes off.

\-----------------------

Jimin wakes to hear clattering in the kitchen as his eyes familiarise themselves with his surroundings. He's never been in Taemin's room before, it was one boundary he had promised himself he wouldn’t cross. His eyes find the clock on the wall, squinting as they try to decipher whether it's 10am or 10pm. Glancing at the strip of light slipping in through the gap at the bottom of the blinds, he gets his answer. And just like that, their late night of drinking comes back to him. His confession, the fingers drawing on his thigh... the hand on his..  _ No. It must have been a dream.  _ It wouldn't be the first time he'd woken up midway through an inappropriate act with Taemin, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Struggling to determine where the line between reality and dreamland lies, he shakes his head, fighting off the uncertain memories and the brewing headache.

Taemin was slumped on a stool at the table, devouring whatever food he had thrown together when Jimin finally made an appearance, clutching his head and wobbling on his feet slightly. He flops down onto the sofa, grimacing at the brightness of the light above him.

“You want something to eat?” Taemin asks, rolling his eyes as Jimin firmly shakes his head. “You dieting again?”

Jimin hums in confirmation, staring blankly at the TV. “I never eat before noon.”

Taemin scoops an apple from the fruit bowl and moves to the back of the sofa, leaning over Jimin's shoulder and placing it on Jimin's chest. “Eat it.” 

  
  


Jimin takes a bite.


	4. Chapter 4

Taemin couldn’t really remember the last time the guys had got together for one of their ‘games nights’ and finding the time to meet up was becoming increasingly difficult. It was bittersweet, the more they succeeded in life, the less they could coordinate their schedules and these precious moments became more and more rare. But here they all were, in the apartment that Jongin had recently bought for his family, or atleast _most_ of them had made it. Jimin had been so busy he’d barely even been in the country since the morning after _that_ night before, so he’d been impossible to pin down.

As soon as Jimin was in a suitable state to leave Taemin’s flat that morning, he bolted, mumbling something about ‘packing’ and ‘flight’. They didn’t say a word about what happened and for a while they were stuck at an impasse, Jimin hindered by his fuddled memories and the older refusing to make any more obvious moves.

Taemin was stubborn and it didn’t always work in his favour, but the situation had changed and so had he. He wasn’t hunting his prey anymore, he’d already caught it. He wasn’t questioning Jimin’s thoughts because the boy had, intentionally or not, told him everything he needed to know. Taemin was more than content with putting the ball in Jimin's court, and so was the darkness inside him, because this new game was as thrilling as the chase. He would tease him, give him just enough attention to keep him on the hook and wait patiently until Jimin caved, until he was begging for it. That was the plan, that was Taemin's new focus, but it seemed Jimin needed little prompting.

When Jimin text Taemin a few days later, he was asking for advice on how to preserve his voice when he was singing so often. Honestly it sounded like a terrible excuse to open dialogue and Taemin couldn’t remember a single time outside of the dance studio that the younger had ever approached him for any kind of guidance. They'd never had that kind of bond. _‘It's hard to treat you like a friend when you're more like… a god.’_ The words echoed through his mind several times a day since they slurred out of Jimin's mouth and it explained so much. Why Jimin had barely ever looked him in the eye, why he was so apprehensive whenever they were alone, why he crumbled under pressure of Taemin watching him dance that night. But now he was approaching him for advice, and it was obvious something in Jimin had changed, a clear shift in their dynamic, whether the boy understood it or not.

It started with small things. Jimin began texting more than usual, finding any insignificant reason to get in contact. Then came the pictures; the food he was eating, hotels he was staying in, places he was visiting. Soon the pictures became selfies and at first they were innocent enough, cute faces, silly filters, all things he would be allowed to post on SNS. Until they became full body shots, fresh out of the shower in a dressing gown or lounging half-dressed in bed. The cute expressions became seductive stares and cheeky winks, which all went straight into Taemin's ‘Jimin bank’.

It was painfully obvious that Jimin was yearning for attention, that he was becoming desperate for even a flicker of that fire he’d felt running through his veins in the practice room, but he didn't know, or wouldn't admit, why it felt so… _good._ Whether his memories of that night were right or not, he couldn’t forget that tension he’d felt, that unmistakable desire radiating from his best friend. All he knew for certain was that he needed that feeling again, he needed Taemin’s attention, his praise, and he was craving it so much he was stepping out of his own comfort zone to get it.

Taemin on the other hand, was only responding with off-hand compliments and unenthusiastic comments, barely acknowledging him at all. The older was determined to suppress his own excitement every time his phone went off, planning his responses perfectly, down to how long he would make Jimin suffer in suspense. He wouldn't give Jimin what he was looking for that easily, after all, the younger had made him wait long enough. There was a risk, of course, there was always a chance that Jimin would give up or that the older had misread all of the signs. But Taemin knew exactly how to play this game and so far his gamble was paying off.

A few days ago, Jimin video called Taemin from a hotel room, asking him to watch his routine one last time before their showdown at KBS. _He’s getting brave._ He was wearing an almost see-through white shirt that was clinging to his damp body, partly tucked into his skin tight dark blue jeans. Hardly an appropriate outfit to practice in but practicality came second to looking _that_ hot. Not to dissuade him, Taemin gave him a tiny bit of praise, just a taste, but evidently not enough since Jimin deemed it necessary to get right up close to the camera, lift his shirt slightly and pull down the waistband of his trousers so he could show Taemin a small bruise below his hip bone. _When did he get so fearless?_ Caught off guard by his boldness, Taemin wasn’t quick enough to hide the way his lips automatically parted before Jimin saw it all, the blend of shock and lust painted on his face. He ended the call in a hurry, frustrated by his own transparency.

Taemin stepped up the game the following day with a short video of him dancing what he considers to be the sexiest part of his solo routine, wearing slim grey joggers and an unbuttoned checked shirt, his torso on full display, the sweat glistening on his abs, his hair unstyled, so fluffy and soft. He replayed the video a few times, admiring just how appetizing he looked before sending it to Jimin, no text necessary. He knew exactly was Jimin's response would be, he didn't need to see it on camera. But Jimin didn't reply, not instantly. He saw it straight away, that telltale tick proving he'd read it, and it said he was typing but… nothing. Until 20 minutes later, when he responds with a simple 'You look amazing, hyung.’ Taemin's imagination ran wild with the thought of what had kept Jimin busy for so long.

And now here he was, in Jongin’s apartment, in the middle of a drinking game with his closest friends when he gets his latest Jimin fix.

 **Park Jimin:** Hyung, are you busy?

 **Lee Taemin:** It’s game night remember

 **Park Jimin:** Ohh yeah, say hi to everyone :)

Taemin shouts a quick ‘Jimin says hi’ to the room and if looks could kill, Sungwoon would be serving a sentence for first-degree.

 **Park Jimin:** I have to sort out my outfit for our stage in a few days, will you tell me what you think?

He'd barely finished reading the message when his phone pinged again; a selfie of Jimin wearing a deep-cut silky striped top, showing off his collarbones and the definition of his chest muscles underneath. The sleek fabric was laying so smooth against his chest, it was almost more enticing than if he'd been topless. He’s sitting so casually, lounging back on a leather sofa, legs spread open just enough. He looks so effortlessly sexy, but Taemin knew there would be another 40 nearly identical pictures in his camera roll that he wasn't happy with. He sat up a little straighter in his chair, pleased that Jimin was working so hard to impress him.

 **Lee Taemin:** The top looks great on you. You could do with better trousers though.

 **Park Jimin:** You're right, hang on.

The wait for whatever card Jimin was going to play next was excruciating and Taemin found himself tapping impatiently on the arm of the chair, studying everyone else in the room to pass the time. Sungwoon already seemed tipsy and true to his nature, if his hands weren’t all over someone, it was only because they were bringing his drink to his lips. Tonight his victim seemed to be Ravi. The two weren’t close at all and Taemin knew the eldest was as straight as an arrow but Sungwoon's blatant attempt at flirting still irritated him.

The vibration of his phone alerted Taemin of the incoming image but it didn't prepare him for what he saw; Jimin, in the tightest leather trousers he could find, showing only from the top of the waistband down to just above his knees, the overhead lighting outlining his cock and accentuating the fabric stretched taut around his thighs. Taemin’s chest drops as the air abruptly leaves his lungs. He gnaws on his bottom lip absentmindedly and shakes his head in disbelief. _You daring boy._ He laughs off to the side, the action unintentional, so entranced he'd forgotten his surroundings. He scans the room, tactfully pulling the nearest cushion over his crotch, but nobody even noticed. They're all so deep in discussion, apart from Sungwoon, of course, who’s enthusiastically nodding at every word coming out of Ravi's mouth while staring directly at the pillow now flat in Taemin's lap. Shrugging off Sungwoon's predictability, he sends his baiting reply.

 **Lee Taemin** : You should really check your photos before you send them.

 **Park Jimin:** Why? Can you not see enough?

_Oh he knows exactly what he's doing._

**Lee Taemin** : I can see plenty.

 **Park Jimin:** So what do you think?

_You're mouth-wateringly tempting and I want to come all over those juicy thighs._

**Lee Taemin:** Yeah, perfect.

 **Park Jimin:** Okay 😊

Taemin read the texts over and over again, wondering if he was letting Jimin get away with too much. The delusion of control Jimin had could cause a problem later. Or maybe it wasn't an illusion at all. After all, Taemin was the one wrapped around Jimin's finger now. The thought riled something inside him. He wanted to discipline him for stepping out of line, teach him the consequences of being such a tease. But they weren't there yet. Jimin wasn't ready.

Turning his attention back to the room, he catches Sungwoon’s awkward attempt to drink thin air before realising his glass is empty. He excuses himself to the kitchen and after waiting a second to make sure his erection had subsided, Taemin silently follows. Even with his back to the door, pouring himself a drink, Sungwoon senses Taemin's presence the second he steps through the doorway. Without a chance to turn around, Taemin traps Sungwoon against the cupboards, his body flush against Sungwoon’s as he reaches around him to grab the bottle the younger had just finished pouring.

“Stop it.” Taemin grumbles as he leans past him.

Sungwoon tries, and fails, to create distance between them, stuck pinned between Taemin and the kitchen counter. The defeat doesn't prevent him from acting coy. “Stop what?”

“You know exactly what, Sungwoon.”

“I’m just spending time with my friends, _Taemin.”_ The name spat off his tongue like it left a bad taste behind.

Never during their friendship, atleast not outside the bedroom, had Taemin expected Sungwoon to address him with respect, they were less than a year apart in age after all, but Sungwoon's intonation was insulting. Spurred on by the half-bottle of whisky sloshing around inside him, his temper rose. He scoffs at Sungwoon's spite, belittling his attempt at sounding tough.

“You’re spreading yourself around more like.”

“What’s it to you? You've been flirting with your phone all night.” his voice grows louder with each word and though he avoids saying his name, Sungwoon couldn’t stop himself from picturing Jimin sitting eagerly with his phone in his hand.

“Ah, there it is. Are you really trying to make me jealous, Woonie?” He didn't even try to sound patronising, the dominance flowed naturally. The superiority it gave him blurred his very thin line between anger and arousal.

Sungwoon attempts to twist around and confront him face to face but Taemin grabs his arms mid-spin, turning him back to the counter and pressing his crotch right up against his ass in one swift manouver. No matter what Taemin said next, his erection spoke louder. If Sungwoon was pulling this shit anywhere else, he'd be paying for it by now.

“I'm just enjoying myself. If you're getting jealous that's your problem.” Sungwoon barks, sounding awfully defensive for someone ‘just enjoying’ himself.

The thing is, Taemin was getting jealous. Sungwoon had been his little secret for so long, and he didn't like to share. It was hypocritical, he couldn’t deny it, but when Taemin wanted something, he liked to think he owned it, and the boy in front of him was no exception.

They endure an awkward silence until Sungwoon prepares for another struggle to face Taemin, but this time the older steps back, permitting the movement. Not knowing what to do with himself now he could feel Taemin’s glare, Sungwoon murmurs hopefully towards his fumbling fingers, a voice so weak you could have mistaken it for the squeak of his shoe. “... Is it working?”

With a gentle laugh exhaled through his nose, Taemin concedes. There’s a sweet glint of absolution in his eyes before they squint shut with the force of his widening smile. Sungwoon’s cheeks flush in return, thankful that his cute attempt at diffusing the tension actually worked.

“Listen, Woon…” The older hesitates, knowing Sungwoon was fragile when he was tipsy, “I know we never defined _this_ , but it isn’t...”

“I know what 'friends with benefits’ means, hyung,” the younger interjects, “I know there's nothing more to this. It’s okay.” Sungwoon had ‘tells’ when he was lying that anyone who had ever spent more than 10 minutes with him could identify, but as the words left his mouth, Taemin couldn’t see a single one. His smile didn’t droop, his eyes didn’t shift, he didn’t run his hands through his hair. He wasn’t lying, and Taemin was glad, of course, but he couldn’t ignore the small knot tugging in his stomach, the niggling little feeling. He’d expected Sungwoon to care more than that, and he couldn’t explain why it bothered him so much that he didn’t.

Sungwoon presses in closer to Taemin who for once, in his slightly disheartened state, let's him take the lead. “I'm only envious…” Sungwoon hums as he lifts his hand up to Taemin's chest, walking his fingers up to his collar, “...that he’ll get to feel that thing you do with..”

A heavy thud round the corner throws him off balance as Timoteo, the lightweight of the group, barges elbow first into the kitchen door and they break apart before he suspects anything. He probably wouldn't blink at their close proximity any other time, but Taemin was still pitching a tent in his jeans and that was a conversation he’d rather not have with his oldest friend.

“Yah! What's taking you so long?” ..or at least that might be what he said. Every word slurred into one, it was almost impossible to make out any distinction at all.

“Woon was just boring me to death, going on about some video game.” It was a convincing excuse, Taemin had very little interest in video games. Sungwoon rolls his eyes for added effect before ushering both of his hyungs out the door, swivelling Timoteo back round towards the hallway before he got a chance to realise what Taemin's hands were covering.

As they head down the narrow corridor, bumping shoulders in the tight space, Taemin tilts his body to Sungwoon's level, whispering in his direction to wrap up their disrupted conversation. “Keep your hands to yourself or next time we're alone, I’ll make you sit on them all night.”

\----------------

Taemin spent the rest of the evening teasing Sungwoon in retaliation for his gutsy behaviour, biting his lip subtly, aware of Sungwoon watching him out the corner of his eye; or drawing the younger's attention to his cock with a gesture cleverly disguised as adjusting the fabric of his trousers; or staring him dead in the eyes with such dominance it made him squirm.

By the end of the night, there were only a few of them left awake. Jongin and Timo long gone to sleep in the bedrooms, others passed out on rugs and chairs throughout the apartment. Sungwoon had successfully shuffled his way onto the same sofa as Taemin, falling asleep on his chest when he got too drunk. Taemin could feel himself drifting off when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

 **Park Jimin:** Hyung, you awake?

 **Lee Taemin:** What’s wrong?

 **Park Jimin:** I’m having a bad day.

 **Lee Taemin:** A bad day or one of your bad days?

There was a difference. Jimin's bad days usually meant standing in front of a mirror for hours on end, focusing on every imperfection until he couldn't look at himself any longer or worrying about one tiny mistake on repeat until it gave him a crippling headache.

Taemin felt every single second of the 10 minute wait for Jimin's reply, the delay itself already answering his question. He knew Jimin would be chewed up about how to respond, and when the text finally came, it was the result of 10 minutes of self-depreciation.

 **Park Jimin:** Why do I always feel like this?

This wasn't going to work over text, it barely even worked in person. Not that Jimin had ever come to him for this kind of stuff, mostly it was Sungwoon who knew how to make Jimin _right_ again. It just so happened that Taemin was usually with Sungwoon when he got those calls. Now that he thought about it, he could see Sungwoon’s phone on the table and it hadn’t vibrated or flashed at all. His ego swelled at the realisation that he’d replaced Sungwoon as Jimin’s go-to guy.

 **Lee Taemin:** I'm going to call. Pick up or I'll just keep calling until you do.

He shuffles out from underneath Sungwoon, bearing the weight of his head in his hands until he slides off the sofa and carefully lays him back down onto a pillow. He gestures to Ravi that he’s going outside for a smoke, his friend too tired to notice he never picked up his cigarettes.

Taemin leans against the railing on the balcony, clearing his throat as the phone rings through.  

“Jimin?”

“Hi.” Jimin’s voice was so small. He'd been crying, a lot.

“Tell me what you're thinking.”

Jimin didn't know why he’d texted Taemin. He was the first person Jimin thought of, sure, and it's true that his voice was the only thing he wanted to hear right now, but Taemin didn't want to listen to him crying, he had better things to do, he was above this. _He only called because it was the decent thing to do. He'll think you're pathetic._ That vicious voice stowed away inside him was making him regret answering the phone. It was impulsive, he'd pressed the button without realising, and now, with Taemin waiting for him to say something, he wished he'd texted Sungwoon instead.

“Ah- Hyung,” he barely manages to stutter out, “I shouldn't hav...”

“Hey, I can help you.” The certainty in Taemin's voice was too convincing. After some rustling and sighing, the line goes quiet until Jimin finds the courage to bare his soul. 

“Sometimes I think my life would be better if I was anyone else but me.” The pain in his voice made Taemin's stomach drop. “If I looked different, maybe I would dance better. I might not be so useless. Maybe…” He gets quieter as the worst of his fears come out. “...people would actually like me.”

Everything about Jimin was so endearing, even his flaws. He was utterly breathtaking from head to toe, a beauty unparalleled, inside and out. No-one else could compare to him in Taemin’s eyes, so why couldn't he see that?

 **“** You've got it so wrong. Do you know how many people would give up everything they have just to say one word to you?”

“Mhm.”

“And how many people watch in awe when you dance?”

“I dunno..”

“How many people think about you when they're in bed at night?”

 _Me_.

“I…” that last one threw him off a little, but he was too deep in his angst to read between the lines. “I just don't understand why.” 

Taemin sighed, pacing back and forth across the balcony, deciding if he was really about to throw the whole game away just to prove he could pull Jimin back from his darkest thoughts. The answer was obvious.

“I do.”

“Oh.” Jimin whispered. Taemin was veering way off Sungwoon’s usual script and neither of them were really prepared for it.

“You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Taemin said the words so slowly, each one so heavy that they left him out of breath. “I wouldn't want you any other way.”

Time stopped right in front of Jimin's eyes, and he froze with it. There weren't even words to express what he felt in that moment. His whole world lit up in an instant, his heart pumping a little stronger than it ever had. This was true happiness. His body felt so weightless, if he closed his eyes he could have sworn he was floating. It was euphoric.

Taemin broke the silence quickly, disturbed by how vulnerable his own admission made him feel.

“Get some sleep, hmm? It'll do you good.”

“No, please.” From one extreme to the other, almost in an instant, Jimin’s elation turned to fear. He was so enveloped by the feeling of being wanted, the sudden threat of having that comfort ripped away filled him with dread. The harrowing thoughts raced around his head, too fast to make any sense, leaving him disorientated in his own bed, his heart hammering his chest so hard it rocked him unsteady, his chest aching so much he forgot how to breathe. “Please don't go.”

Realising Jimin’s impending panic attack, Taemin grips the phone tighter, someone else's caring words departing from his mouth. “Okay okay, I'm here.” He cooed over the sound of Jimin hyperventilating. “Just listen to me. Block everything else out, okay? Deep breaths.”

Jimin focused on Taemin's voice, letting the sound permeate his whole body, his chest relaxing into the invisible warm clasp, like Taemin was manually inflating and deflating his lungs for him.

“That's it, nice and slow.”

The boy’s breathing was calming with Taemin’s encouragement, slowly lowering in pitch until each breath became more of a moan as his mouth opened wider with relief. Beset by the power he was holding, Taemin slipped into that place he’d been avoiding, the familiar growl in his throat.

“Good boy.”

Jimin mewled before he stopped breathing altogether.

Finally. There it was.

That feeling he’d been craving, that sensation he’d been chasing for weeks. Like an intense itch finally getting scratched. His memories hadn’t done it justice. The longing, the curiosity, the arousal, the anticipation. Every emotion, every feeling he was experiencing conflicted, and it was exhilarating. The willingness to surrender himself completely, the blood rushing to his cock, it confirmed everything. He doesn’t just want Taemin, he _needs_ him.

Jimin was still holding his breath when Taemin heard voices inside the flat gradually getting louder, inevitability making their way out to the balcony. Not wanting to alarm Jimin again, he kept his voice calm, almost seductive, as he whispered his instructions into the handset.

“I have to go, but when i hang up, you’re going to close your eyes and picture me there with you. Okay?”

“Mhm.” Jimin crooned through pouting lips.

“I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep.”

“Mmm..” The way his voice jumped a little higher in the middle of his groan was delicious.   

“And next time you feel like this, ring me. Don't do anything else. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Jimin nodded to himself, resisting the overwhelming urge to say 'Sir.’

“Sweet dreams.. baby.” Taemin hung up immediately, coaxing a few deep breaths out of his own lungs before stepping back inside.


	5. Chapter 5

Taemin had spent the best part of 8 years bed-hopping between the dorm, his flat and hotels, and since most of the hotel rooms he stayed in had been pretty dingy and uninspiring, this was by far the nicest he’d been given. It was pointless really, since he lived less than 40 minutes away, but with so many of their artists performing at KBS Gayo Daechukje tomorrow night, SM found it much easier to keep tabs on everyone if they were all under the same roof, as near to the venue as possible.  

He couldn't complain, it was an exquisite place. The room may be a little too spacious for one, but with the lights dimmed low, the warm glow from the LED ring around the headboard created the most cozy, relaxing atmosphere. The ensuite was as big as the dorm room all five of them had once shared when they debuted, and the wardrobe could fit every item of clothing he owned. He wasn't supposed to be in this room, he was meant to share with Minho and Key but the hotel made a few mistakes and through luck of the draw, Taemin was bumped to the only room that wasn't booked, one of the premium suites. It wouldn't have felt quite so luxurious if the largest wall wasn’t covered with one giant floor to ceiling mirror. But that's where he was, sitting on the end of the bed staring at his reflection and mulling over tomorrow's performances.

Well.. he had been thinking about that at some point but he was too easily distracted by the knowledge that Jimin was somewhere in this hotel, probably tucked up in bed, looking so serene as he fell asleep. He clung to that image, his imagination filling in the blanks. Would he sleep in a pair of loose shorts when he slept alongside his members? Or would he be in an adorable pair of matching satin pajamas? His curiosity grew with each tiny detail his mind was illustrating.

It was baffling, he hadn’t had a single text from Jimin all day. He thought after the way their phone call turned last night, after everything Taemin said, Jimin would have texted him first thing in the morning, or at any point today. Maybe it was all too overwhelming, it wouldn't be the first time over recent weeks that Taemin came on too strong... But then again, Taemin hadn’t allowed himself to send a single message either. Was Jimin waiting for him to make the next move? It wasn’t exactly his turn. He could try and find out what room he was in, it’s not like Jimin could hide from him if he was standing right in front of him...

When Taemin's phone rang, in the real world, he didn’t even glance at the screen before answering it, expecting their manager to be checking up on him.  

“Hyung?”

_ Jimin?! _ Taemin’s eyes widened at the unexpected sound of his angelic voice, convinced of some kind of fate that kept leading Jimin his way whenever he thought about him.

“What are you doing awake?!” He didn't mean to sound so stern, but it was really late, or early depending on how you looked at it, and Jimin didn’t work well sleep deprived.

Jimin was whispering, obviously trying not to wake up whoever was in the room with him. “I.. I can’t sleep.“  

Taemin's voice softens, Jimin was only doing as he'd asked.

“Ah- another bad day?”

“Something like that.” Jimin mumbled feebly.

“Okay…”  _ Do it do it do it. “ _ I uh... I have a room to myself. 702. You should.. come here. If you want to.” His voice wasn't as stable as he was aiming for.

“Okay.” The younger squeaked, his gulp audible through the speaker.

Taemin paced up and down his room in panic. He never got like this. The first time he'd crossed that metaphorical line with Sungwoon was.. easy. It was always easy. He had no reason to be nervous, but the butterflies fluttered in his stomach and his neck was burning up. He stopped in his tracks, correcting his posture and letting out a giant, controlled breath. Letting his head fall back slightly, he inhaled deeply before forcing another steady breath through his pursed lips. His hands clenched, arms falling to his sides, spine straightening out as his shoulders rolled back. He was momentarily motionless, opening himself up to that dark urge clawing it's way to the surface, going to that place he felt the most confident in. It was the same routine he enacted backstage, the ritual he needed to complete before performing, but he'd never needed it off-stage before.   

The sound of gentle knocks fill the room and his eyes spring open, meeting his reflection in the mirror. It might be subtle, but he looks  _ different _ , edgier, sharper, his face resting in a much darker place. He was ready.

He pulled open the door, catching Jimin in an awkward position, half turning away regretting his decision and half giving himself a pep talk. It was cute. Jimin gave it his best attempt, puffing out his chest a little comically, acting cool and calm until he looks up and sees the expression on Taemin's face. He should be used to this now, it was burned in his memory from the dance studio, although it seemed so long ago. But that  _ other _ ness in his expression, like it’s him but not really him, like he's so hungry he can't think straight.

Taemin coughs a very obvious fake cough, catching Jimin's attention again and beckons the boy inside. Jimin looks so cute, having made the effort to put on some of his favourite clothes like he was a little kid going out for a meal with his parents. Taemin's still Taemin enough to recognise the sweet gesture but it won't earn him any bonus points. Taemin's only interested in one thing tonight

The older sits on the edge of the bed, facing the small entryway into the room, in which Jimin is still standing, hands fidgeting behind his back. He should probably move, but it feels like he's waiting for something.

“What's wrong Jimin?” Taemin questions, that velvety voice equal parts questioning and taunting. Jimin's lips move a fraction, like he's practicing a little speech and for the second time in minutes, Taemin is almost pulled out of his facade by how adorable he is.

“I just couldn't sleep.. too nervous I guess.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

Jimin looks up to meet Taemin's eyes, surprised by his bluntness, the harshness contradicting with that soft voice on the end of the phone last night. What catches him off guard even more is how delectable Taemin looks half-lying back on his elbows, his slouching position pulling the undone top button of his fitted white shirt further apart, his legs wide open like he was expecting Jimin to get on the floor there and then.  _ Jesus Christ.  _ Jimin was weak at the knees and they'd barely broke the ice. He's intimidated, as always, and the younger can't build the courage to say anything of value.

“I...I don't know.” Once again he'd found himself in the lion's den, unsure of how he ended up here. I mean, he’d walked, but the journey that led him here was a bit, blurry. And now that he's here, he's just looking at the patterns of the wood floor around his feet, anything to keep his eyes and mind occupied. He can feel Taemin's stare and he knows he's enjoying watching him squirm, but knowing Taemin is feeding on his trepidation doesn't make it any easier. He hears the creak of the bed and the footsteps that follow, but still can't look anywhere but down.

“You're not so cocky now, are you baby?” Taemin teases, another step closer. Jimin gulps, swallowing for the first time since he walked in the room, a stream of saliva running down his throat. He can't even function properly and hearing this new pet name in person makes it worse, it's so warm and fuzzy and he wants to hear it again and again and again.

Taemin reaches a hand up to Jimin's face, cupping the side of his jaw and forcing their eyes in line. It's not a loving gesture, more like Taemin's getting impatient and he's just going to bore straight into him to get the answer himself to save time.

“If you won't tell me what you came here for, I can't help you.” The threat so nonchalant, Jimin almost wanted to cry. Was this a mistake? It felt like Taemin didn't even want him there, the whole encounter feeling so standoffish. Yet somehow Taemin was pulling all the right strings, egging Jimin on, forcing him to prove himself.

“I want...” He had honestly no idea now that he was put on the spot like this. Not exactly the right time for deep self reflection but he couldn't finish the sentence because he didn't know how it ended. Attention? Praise? Pleasure? Instead he welcomes an easier thought. “I need you t-to help me.. r..relax”

Taemin sighs, not satisfied with the vanilla response. His patience  _ was _ wearing thin, not because Jimin was stuttering like a schoolboy at his first recital, but because he refused to take anything other than clear, unmistakable consent as a green light.

Bringing his other hand up, Taemin holds Jimin's head like a crystal ball, searching his eyes, almost pleading with the confident, assured part of Jimin that sent him all those daring texts to just  _ say it. _

“You're gonna have to do better than that, please Jimin.”

The younger succumbs to the strangely intimate feeling of his head being caged in between Taemin's fingers, feeling like a snug, secure place to be. He scrunches his eyelids shut, hiding inside himself, as the words pour out quicker that he thinks them.

“I want you to touch me.”

“Mmm, that I can do.” Taemin exhales.

Only after the hands leave his head does Jimin realise just how tightly they were pressing, and now it kinda hurts. Taemin takes a step back, the sharpness returning on his face with a smirk, clearly in his element. “Take this off.” He orders, running a finger down the zip of Jimin's jacket, his other hand already outstretched, waiting to receive it. Doing as he's told, Jimin slinks out of his coat and hands it to him, unsure he's got the courage to take off any more clothes with Taemin looking at him like  _ that. _

Jimin is wearing that fluffy jumper with the tight neck again and Taemin revisits the memory of him flailing around trying to escape it. Sober or not, there's no sexy way to take that jumper off. He shakes his head with a chuckle, he'll save Jimin the embarrassment, his ears are already bright red as it is. Taemin tugs at the soft fabric, humming as he mulls over a new plan in his head.

“This isn't going to work. There’s a robe on the back of the bathroom door. Go change into it. It'll be easier to..” He looks Jimin up and down and Jimin thinks he might melt into a puddle at his feet. “..relax.”

The look on Jimin's face as Taemin steps to the side, clearing his path to the bathroom, can only be described as terror. Things are moving too fast, 20 minutes ago he was in his room trying to sleep and now he's about to strip with Taemin a stone's throw away? One shaking foot at a time, he slinks past Taemin into the ensuite. Haven. He locks the door as soon as he's through it, letting out his tension with a heavy breath.

He sits down on top of the toilet lid, the more parts of his body coming into contact with something, the more stability he feels. He can see himself peeling off his socks out the corner of his eye, but he's not really aware of it, his arm kinda doing its own thing. He's trying not to picture Taemin and that look on his face just the other side of the door. If he doesn't picture him then it could be anyone, it could be anyone else out there waiting for him, and that makes it much easier.

His jumper and t-shirt fall to the floor and he's still not acknowledging it, like they found a way to pull themselves off over his head without his cooperation. He's got no time to weigh up the pros and cons of being here, no time to analyse this situation he's got himself in, trapped in his friend's bathroom. But what did Taemin mean when he said it would help him relax? Was it the same was thing he was thinking of when he said relax? He still doesn't even know what that is but he just needs  _ it.   _

If only he could find the name for this feeling, the reason he's shaking so much that his teeth are chattering, why he feels like he could outrun a cheetah with the amount of energy in his muscles. Then it clicks. His heart isn't speeding up because he's nervous, he doesn't feel more alert because he's on edge. It's adrenaline. He knows there's no real danger behind that door, how could there be, it's just Taemin. But somehow his body got the wrong idea, maybe the stress, the mental strain he put himself under tricked his mind into thinking he was in some kind of peril.

He laughs at the idea as he stands up, his hands making easy work of his belt buckle. The new confidence coursing through his veins keeps telling him he's fine, he's got this. He wants this. There's nothing to worry about. It's easy. It's good. He laughs again, stepping out of his right trouser leg.  _ What was I even worried about? _

He kicks his trousers to the other side of the room, pulling his boxers down and over his heels whilst mumbling to himself, giving himself a one-man pep talk. He doesn't look in the mirror once, if he acknowledges anything outside his head, there's a chance he'll lose his cool. He just grabs the robe off the back of the door and wraps it around himself, pulling the fabric cord around his waist a little too tight for comfort. He's safe.

Pausing only to expel one final deep breath from his lungs, he opens the door.

Taemin isn't where he thought he'd be, not right outside the door waiting for him like a crocodile lurking under the murky water. No, he's sitting at the end of the bed in front of the mirror, elbows resting on his knees, his head parallel with the floor but staring up at Jimin through the reflection. Somehow that's worse. He turns his head to look at Jimin, takes one look at the little bow he’s tied the belt into, his mind homing in on the thought that Jimin's  _ actually naked underneath, _ and he pats the small triangle of bedding between his legs.

Jimin looked at the dent in the duvet that Taemin’s fingers had just tapped, and he knew what the gesture meant, but he couldn’t bring himself to move, the last 5 minutes of building himself up gone right out the window. The lights are dimmer, Taemin’s hair is a little messier than it was before, more buttons on his shirt undone. Jimin feels like a scared little boy again, walking into the devil's chamber, something Taemin picks up on because the corner of his mouth twists upwards, proud of the effect he’s having. He pats the space in front of him again, more impatiently this time. “Come.”

Jimin timidly walks towards him, the movement confirming that this  _ is _ happening, and Taemin shuffles further back onto the bed, making enough room for Jimin to sit comfortably in front of him. Jimin pops himself down on the very end of the bed, just perching on the edge, his hips narrowly avoiding the inside of Taemin’s thighs. He slowly raises his head to find himself in the mirror and catches the lust in Taemin’s eyes. Taemin pulls his hips further back towards him, helping him get a better balance on the bed and he shudders as his back meets Taemin’s chest, his ass pressing against the older’s crotch.

“Are you sure you want this?” For the first time tonight, Taemin sounds like Taemin again and his brow is furrowed with genuine concern. And Jimin thinks, whatever act he’s putting on, no matter how he’s odd he's behaving, it's still Taemin underneath. With that, he nods, sinking back onto Taemin’s chest, feeling so safe in this position with Taemin all around him.

Taemin puts his hands on Jimin’s shoulders and even though there's a thick layer of flannel-y material between their skin, he feels a spark either side of his neck. Jimin isn't sure what is supposed to come next, but he relaxes into the older's touch as he begins to work his hands over his muscles.

“You looked so good in that outfit yesterday, Minnie.”   _ Oh. Holy shit. _ He sounds like the embodiment of sin, his voice like thick, warm treacle, irresistibly tempting but ultimately no good for you. Jimin lays still against him, not sure if he’s meant to say ‘thank you’, unable to stop the automatic reaction in his heart, and his cock.

“But you knew that, didn't you.” he continued, rubbing between Jimin’s shoulder blades.

Jimin was looking anywhere but the mirror in front of them, evading the truth. He did know, or at least he’d hoped he looked good, that Taemin would think so. Was he supposed to respond? It didn't really sound like a real question. He wasn't even sure he had the courage to speak.

“God, I couldn't stop looking at that last picture...” Taemin gushed, his fingers bending over the collar of the robe, brushing against Jimin’s neck. The skin-to-skin contact made Jimin involuntarily twitch as Taemin paws at his skin underneath the fabric, the robe loosening as the motion of his wrists pull it apart. One shoulder slides off and Taemin’s hand is quick to replace it, Jimin getting flustered as more of him is revealed. He shyly pipes out a  _ ‘hyung.. _ ’, Taemin cutting him off before he can protest.  

“Isn't that what you wanted?” his fingers push harder into his skin, trailing towards his collarbone, walking to that sweet spot that makes Jimin crumble. He did pay attention in the bar after all. Jimin’s eyes close in anticipation. “When you sent me that picture...” Taemin leans in so close to the side of Jimin’s neck, his breath tickling the fine hairs below his ear. “..didn't you want to make me hard?”

Jimin let out a gasp that quickly morphed into a moan as the words sunk in. _Oh my god_. He actually said that. Taemin, his best friend, just said _that._ Jimin couldn’t subdue his innocence, nobody had ever talked dirty to him before, if you can even call it that. It was so wrong, so naughty. It made him feel guilty that he was letting himself enjoy it so much.

Taemin scoots closer towards Jimin’s back, pressing his stiffening cock against him, assuring him that this view is just as good, if not better, than the image of Jimin’s tight trousers clinging to his cock. He picks up Jimin’s hand, which the younger had kind of forgotten was attached to him since it had been laying limply on the bed the whole time, and moves it to Jimin’s lap. He lays it down so close to the fabric above his groin, the younger’s eyes flutter shut, his head rolling back onto Taemin’s shoulder, worried he might explode with suspense.

Taemin’s lips brush against Jimin’s neck as his hands feel their way down his body, making their way down to the fabric tied around his waist. Jimin feels the fabric loosen, but he’s focusing on Taemin’s plump lips, so padded and warm, pecking against his neck. He’s focusing on that gentle pressure so much he doesn’t realise the cord keeping him covered is completely undone.

“Open your eyes.” Taemin whispers, and he does, instantly.

The first thing he saw was Taemin’s eyes leering over his shoulder like the devil, eyes burning into his own. The second was Taemin's fingers pulling apart the overlapping fabric, slowly revealing his thighs. He jumps as the soft material brushes against his balls, and before long, they’re exposed too. Jimin holds his breath as the material slides off his erection, the resistance causing his cock to spring back against his abdomen.

He’s covered in goosebumps, either from the sudden chill or the excitement. He stares at his cock like its not his own, shocked by the fact he can see it, and Taemin can to. His eyes flick to Taemin, who is open mouthed and staring intently, and then back to himself as his cock twitches under the pressure of having an audience. Taemin has long stopped pulling the rest of the gown open, just taking in the delicious sight. Jimin is bigger than he imagined, longer, not as thick as himself, but it's impressive. Somehow despite its size, it’s still cute, a pretty pink colour with a small dark freckle on the underside. Taemin licks his lips subconsciously, wondering if he should blow him tonight. But no, he’ll stick to the plan, to ease him into it...

“Touch yourself.” He growled.

Jimin looks at Taemin’s reflection with a pout. That’s not what he wants. He wants Taemin to touch him, he can touch himself anywhere, anytime. His face scrunches up more as he wonders if he heard him right. Taemin laughs at Jimin’s cute expression, a laugh that borders a scoff. “Or not. You can just leave if that’s what you want.”

He won’t go anywhere, and Taemin knows that’s a fact, but Jimin starts to worry that if he doesn’t do what Taemin wants, he’ll lose interest. With that fear implanted inside him, he reaches down to grip the base of his cock, savouring the satisfaction as it’s finally getting some attention. He slowly pulls his hand up his length, brushing his thumb against the precum oozing out of the tip and uses it to glide his fingers slowly back down. He's never been more nervous in his life, even though he’s done this hundreds upon hundreds of times. He’s glaring at Taemin as his hand keeps stroking his shaft, looking for any kind of reaction or guidance or.. anything. He doesn’t get it, not really, because Taemin’s face doesn’t change. He hasn’t blinked in over a minute, not taking his eyes off Jimin’s hand sliding up and down. It’s disappointing really, Jimin thought Taemin might at least do something to praise him. Still, his eyes close in a mix of pleasure and tension.

“No, look at yourself.” Taemin orders, “I want you to watch yourself stroking your cock for me.” He spelled out the action unnecessarily, like he knew the reality of the situation would push the right buttons in Jimin. He wasn’t wrong. The words sounded so dirty, so bad, and quickly Jimin’s brain is telling him they shouldn't be doing this. _ What would everyone say if they knew? He’s a man. He’s Taemin. _ But it was useless because thinking he shouldn't be doing it only made him want to do it more.

Jimin opens his eyes again, too shy to look at his own hand still lazily moving up and down his cock, looking instead at the parts of Taemin he can see; one hand caressing Jimin’s chest and the other delicately circling his neck, applying no pressure but just surrounding it, feeling Jimin’s pulse. Taemin begins peppering little kisses over Jimin’s shoulder and in response, his hand speeds up, his toes curling as the pleasure builds. Taemin’s still watching him out the corner of his eye, giving Jimin the attention he’s been craving, but why isn’t he touching him? Like, really touching him? He feels so exposed, so vulnerable, inadequate. It’s not a bad feeling, and that’s weird, but it’s just too much. He’s about to stop when a beautiful sound glides into his ear.

“How is every part of you so perfect?” Taemin’s voice is a faint whisper full of admiration. He removes the hand that was circling Jimin’s neck and places it on top of the hand around the boy’s dick. The action silences Jimin’s assumptions and every feeling in his body is heightened. He closes his fist tighter and lifts his hand up to the tip of his cock, the extra weight of Taemin’s hand on top of his own slightly uncomfortable. They stay like that for a minute, neither in charge, until Taemin’s fingers brush against Jimin’s length, accidentally, maybe. Jimin groans in relief and slides his hand out from underneath the older’s, leaving Taemin’s fist wrapped around him. There's no turning back now. Jimin is lost, his body limp against Taemin's, giving in to him completely.

Taemin cocks an eyebrow, surprised that Jimin finally grew the metaphorical balls to get his way. “So eager, huh?”

Jimin giggles nervously, his eyes squeezing shut the second Taemin grips his cock, a soft  _ ‘ah’ _ leaving his lips. Taemin strokes his dick gently, pulling the rest of the dressing gown off with his free hand before resting it on Jimin’s soft thigh, drawing those small circles he’d felt before.

“You look so beautiful” he purred and it was undeniable, the scene so surreal that Taemin wanted to take a picture. Jimin, naked in between Taemin's lap, head resting on his shoulder, legs hanging off the end of the bed, looking like he’s in euphoria. Jimin's cock twitches in Taemin's hand at the praise and the older grips it tighter, picking up the pace as his lust takes the wheel, flicking his wrist on every other upstroke, the rhythm quickly failing as his hand moves faster still. Jimin is mewling against his neck and its heavenly. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. Well, not everything.

Taemin feels the precum pool against his own boxers, his own cock begging for attention and he wonders if he could come just from the pleasure of getting Jimin off. The boy is so far gone now, his clasp on the duvet tightening as his right leg begins to shake, his body tensing against Taemin, the delicate little ‘ _ah ah'_ _s_ speeding up. Just when it seems Jimin is at the precipice, at the perfect time, Taemin lets go.

Jimin pants, eyes and mouth wide open, looking at Taemin in disbelief, his body language screaming _ what the fuck  _ as the orgasm building inside him fades.

“Ah Minnie, I don't want this to end yet.” Taemin groans with a charming smile, and Jimin takes his word for it, oblivious to any other kind of reason why Taemin would deny him his release.

Taemin's hands roam over Jimin's body, exploring all the places he was too impatient to care about before. His fingers rest upon Jimin’s nipples, tweaking them gently, testing his response, and Jimin shows his appreciation with a jolt of his dick. He does it again, this time pinching harder, and Jimin hisses with a soft boxy smile spreading across his cheeks. Taemin stores the knowledge for later. His hands continue their trail down to his stomach, tracing the definition of his faint abs. He catches sight of that crimson mark below his hip, now nearly faded, and outlines it with his finger.

“I want to be the only thing that leaves marks on you.” The words barely left his mouth before one hand returns to Jimin’s cock, the other grabbing his neck, forcing his head to the side, Taemin’s lips grazing against the delicate skin. Jimin giggles, and it soon turns into a moan as Taemin nibbles lightly on his neck, sucking harder as Jimin’s voice gets louder. They’re both so lost in the moment that neither are thinking about the repercussions. Their eyes lock in the mirror and Taemin pulls away, licking the flushing skin.  _ Jesus Christ that's hot. _ It’s only after Jimin sees the mark get darker that it sinks it.

“Hyung.. tomorrow.” Jimin whispers.

Oops.  

“Don't you want everyone to know you're mine?” Taemin purrs as he shuffles round, tilting Jimin's face towards him.

Almost in slow motion, Jimin watches Taemin's head tilt to the side, his eyes sinking shut as he gets closer, his lips forming a subtle pout.  _ Oh god oh god oh god. _ His mind and body have practically stopped functioning again and only out of instinct does Jimin close his eyes just before Taemin's lips press against his own. It’s a short kiss, a bit of a nothing kiss really, just to get that first one out the way. Taemin smiles, hovering millimeters away before delving back in for more.

His fingers trail across Jimin’s jawline, encouraging it to relax and just as hoped, the younger’s lips part, breathing into his mouth. His tongue teases the inside of Jimin’s top lip and something inside the boy kicks into gear. Jimin goes in all tongues blazing,  _ because that's what kissing is right?,  _ their teeth chattering together, the sound so uncomfortable like nails dragging down a chalkboard. He’s thankful that Taemin quickly takes the lead, slowing it down and pushing Jimin’s tongue back a little with a gentle rolling motion.

Jimin thinks he could die of embarrassment, aware he’s just given away his inexperience, and he would have been wishing the floor would just open up and swallow him whole if Taemin hadn't chosen that moment to flick his wrist in such a way that caused a jolt to run through Jimin’s whole body. He moans into Taemin’s mouth, bucking his hips up towards his hand as the kiss deepens. Taemin is breathing him in with every movement, the taste of him feeding his passion.

They finally break apart, Jimin whining at the sudden loss of lips and tongues brushing together and Taemin hushes him with a serious stare. “You are mine, Jimin.” His voice is low and steady, shaken only by the vibrations in his shoulder from his hand moving up and down Jimin’s dick, but somehow he still sounds uncertain, a mental state that Taemin loathed to be in.  

Jimin nods assuringly, the idea of  _ belonging _ to Taemin oddly appealing. Like a weight lifted off his chest, Taemin’s flat expression turns into a beaming smile, his eyes twinkling, eyelashes fluttering. It’s a momentary lapse of character, and before Jimin can fully appreciate the true beauty of it, Taemin’s chest is pressed behind his back again, that assertive, devilish voice back in his ear.

“Then come for me.”

Jimin’s eyes stray to a faraway place, focusing on the delicious, tempting words drifting around his head, pushing him over the edge. It can’t be real, it’s just can't b..  _ Oh fuck.  _ Taemin’s hand quickens, squeezing tighter around the head of Jimin’s cock. It’s amazing, it’s mind blowing. The feeling building is nothing he’s felt before, not with his own hand. Because it’s not his hand, it’s his best friend’s hand, his best friend’s fingers wrapped around him, and it feels so good, and he’s about to come all over them.

His hurried thoughts come to a head as he reaches his climax. Every muscle contracts inside him and it sends shockwaves through his length, a warmth pulsing through his cock until he comes. He hears Taemin cooing in his ear, a blur of ‘ _ that’s it baby’  _ and _ ‘good boy’s, _ the man staring at him dead in the eyes through the reflection as his cum paints his thighs, the rest of it dribbling over Taemin's hand.

Jimin shuts his eyes, savouring every second of the ecstacy he feels. Staring at the black space behind his eyelids, temporarily alone with his thoughts, he knows he's never felt anything else like it. His head is so dozy, his body now satisfied from the physical relief, it's like he could faint. He sways a little, dizzy with pleasure and happiness and Taemin puts his non-cum covered hand around Jimin's chest, holding him tightly, cuddling into him from behind and placing small kisses on his back and neck as he comes down from his high. They stay in that position, holding each other until Jimin is soft again and Taemin shuffles away to the bathroom, returning with a wad of toilet paper. He kneels down in front of Jimin, parting his legs and begins to clean him up.

“Do you feel better now, Minnie?” He kisses Jimin's thigh and Jimin feels it in his dick as it starts to twinge awake again. Taemin laughs, impressed, taking that as a yes. “Come on, let's get you in the shower.” It’s easier to get Jimin on his feet than Taemin first thought, he’s so light and willing to be manhandled now, so with one hand around his waist, they make their way to the ensuite.

Jimin does feel a lot better, much more comfortable in Taemin’s presence, given the circumstances. He clings to the older man’s arm as they walk.  _ Oh _ . Taemin’s fully clothed arm. Jimin hadn’t paid too much attention to Taemin’s body since he’d sat on the bed, he was so deep in his own gratification that he hadn’t paid a great deal of attention to the fact that Taemin hadn’t touched himself once at all.

“Wait, what about you?”

“Mmh, you think I'd pass up the chance to shower with you?”

“No, I mean..” Jimin looks down at Taemin’s bulge tucked behind his trousers, he can't even say the words out loud.  _ Cute. _

“Ahhh. Minnie, would you even know what to do?” It's a joke, a slight tease on Jimin's innocence, but Jimin can’t stop himself getting a little upset like Taemin is mocking him. He shakes his head anyway. Taemin's curiosity is peaked, he had no idea whether Jimin had ever been with a guy before, or how experienced he was with any of this, but he expected  _ something _ . “What, you’ve never.. with a man.. at all?” Jimin shakes his head again, biting the inside of his cheek to distract from the embarrassment. Taemin stops walking and holds Jimin in place by the top of his arms. “But, you’ve been with girls though, right?”

“...no.”

Taemin head rolls back with a soft laugh, whispering the younger's name over and over in quick succession. But he's not making fun of him this time, not that he ever intended to, it’s just his body kicking into auto-response because he just can’t believe his damn luck. His pure, precious Jimin, never been touched; no expectations, no preferences, no benchmark that Taemin needs to beat.  _ He really is perfect. _

“Be patient baby, good things come to those who wait.” He recites with a playful wink.

He guides Jimin into the bathroom, the younger clearly feeling more self-conscious now they’re in a brighter light, trying to cover the best parts of himself with his arms. He’s lost a lot of weight over the last 6 months, almost too much, but Jimin’s body is still delectably soft overall and Taemin leans against the towel rack to get a better view. So many places he wants to get to know intimately, the cute little curve of his perfect ass, those thick thighs, his dainty little feet. Another time. He turns on the shower, glaring at Jimin, waiting for him to step in. The younger looks at him with confusion and it's obvious that he’s about to protest, thinking Taemin isn't going to join him. Taemin nods sweetly as he begins taking off his socks.

“After you.”

He steps in to the shower with uncertainty, instantly soothed by the warm water washing over him. Taking only a second to become submerged in the heat, he turns back to watch Taemin undress.

Jimin has seen Taemin's body a few times, mainly on video but there had been rare occasions when Taemin had changed his shirt in front of him. Even so, seeing it under these circumstances felt brand new. The man is built like a god, he's slim but sculpted. It's obvious he takes care of himself, although Jimin would disagree that some of his habits are doing more harm than good, but his low body fat and perfectly proportioned muscles are proof of his hard work.

Taemin peels off his trousers and boxers in one go, his solid cock springing free, a string of precum tieing the gap between his cock and his toned stomach. Jimin's mouth props open in awe, ogling the whole package intently. His cock is thick, thicker than you'd expect given his thin frame, but it doesn't look out of place. And rather than being a pale pink colour like Jimins, it's slightly darker than Taemin's skin tone, the head darker still, and Jimin thinks he looks like a real man.

Like most things in life, it makes Jimin feel inadequate. But this time, he didn't really mind. Sometimes he likes feeling small, like when he cuddles into Namjoon and the man is towering over him, or when he sinks down against the wall backstage with frustration and upset and everyone stands over him to comfort him. If anything, he kinda liked that Taemin was bigger than him, it made sense.

Taemin steps into the shower, taking no time to pull Jimin into another deep kiss. Their lips part so desperately, so frequently, that the water running down their faces seeps into their mouths, swishing around their dancing tongues. It's messy and as Jimin swallows the blend of shower water and saliva, he panics that he won't be able to breathe much longer. He pulls away and Taemin doesn't protest. Infact, he welcomes the break, taking the opportunity to grip the base of his own neglected cock, stroking it with next to no effort at all like he doesn't even need the physical help to come.

Jimin steps out from underneath the shower stream, wiping the water from his eyes and pushing his hair off his face with that familiar hand motion. He wasn't trying to be sexy, he was trying to get a better view of Taemin's cock, but it drives Taemin crazy. The older groans as if it was an inconvenience that Jimin looked so enticing. Jimin's face lights up with the subliminal praise but it's not long before the smile is wiped off his face. In a blur, Jimin's back is thrust hard against the tiles, Taemin's hand on his throat, the other still pumping his cock. It’s so aggressive, almost violent, and Jimin’s back arches to avoid the pain of pressing against the small wall shelf.

It's another split second before their lips are touching again, the strength of Taemin's kiss forcing Jimin's head against the wall even more. It hurts, so does the squeezing around his neck, but Jimin doesn't want to stop Taemin when he's waited all night to get off. But he can't help it when he sputters a little, his throat constricting in Taemin's grasp. The older releases him without any kind of apology or recognition, almost as if he was going to let go then anyway because his hand quickly grabs the back of Jimin's neck for stability and pulls it forward to rest their foreheads together. Jimin's neck muscles ache, his head pushed so far forward in Taemin's hands that it feels like his muscles could tear. He tries to wriggle out of it but Taemin clutches him tighter.

It's overwhelming, Taemin has wanted Jimin for so long, dreamed about coming all over him so many times, none of it feels real now. He knows it's Jimin in his clasp, he knows where he is and what he's doing, but he's detached from it, like he's watching it from a distance. All he's focused on is chasing his release, and he's so close. He feels nothing knowing he's causing Jimin pain, he's so far gone that Jimin's neck is just an object now.

He steps back, his eyes running up and down Jimin's body. And it's real. He's really there. He looks so innocent, so fucking gorgeous, and the reality flooding in pushes Taemin over the edge. He lets go, his cum decorating Jimin's chest and stomach, the rest washing straight down the drain  An inhuman groan leaves his lips as the pressure leaves his cock.

It's only then, when a stream of warm water washes the first pool of cum off Jimin's stomach, that Taemin realises Jimin is sniffling, fighting back tears, and there’s a twinge in his chest.

_ Oh no. _

“What's wrong?” Taemin pants, wrapping his arms around Jimin’s frail little body and pulling him from underneath the shower, drawing him into his chest. “I'm so sorry. I thought you wanted this.” Taemin sounds empty, ashamed, and his touch is so faint-hearted as he pets Jimin’s wet hair.

Jimin shuffles backwards and their sorry eyes meet. “I do.”

“Then what is it?”

“I feel like.. I don't know, i just thought you’d be…” There’s no way Jimin can say this without hurting Taemin’s feelings, and that would only hurt him more. The tears begin to escape the corner of his eyes. “I thought it’d be more.. loving”

Taemin’s heart sinks.

Okay, he might have got a little carried away then, he could feel Jimin’s resistance against him as he gripped his neck, but it can’t be that, surely, that's  _ nothing.  _ And Jimin can’t have any qualms about Taemin coming on him.. all things considered. Should he have asked? That can’t just be it. He thinks back, he’d called him baby all night, he was showering him with kisses, doting on him the whole time. He was being sweet and loving. Definitely. The whole night had been slow and tender; very mild for his standards. He genuinely didn’t understand what Jimin was referring to, but he was fearful of almost pushing Jimin away.

“Hey, heyhey, no. I’m sorry. I’m not used to this, not really.” He mopes, the statement leaving Jimin confused, since Teamin clearly has plenty of experience. “I care so much about you, I’ll show you. I promise.” Taemin's head spins, trying to pinpoint the moment he messed up so badly.

\-----------------------

With both hands massaging a lather of shampoo through Jimin’s hair, Taemin realises just how much he really does care about him, it wasn’t just a lie to keep the boy happy. He felt something new, seeing the tears roll down Jimin’s cheeks. He’s delicate. He's precious. He’s not like Sungwoon, not like all the others. Jimin needs to be treated differently and for the first time in his life, Taemin doesn't want to be selfish because he barely even thinks about himself any more, every moment spent awake is spent thinking about Jimin. So it makes sense to do it Jimin's way. Not that he has a way, that much has become very clear. Jimin doesn't know what he wants, what he likes, but Taemin’s willing to wait, to help him found out.

By the time they’re both toweling off, it’s settled in Taemin’ mind. He doubts whether he can give Jimin what he needs, but he wants to, more than he wants to watch him crawling towards him on his knees, the torn skin on his back covered in sweat, more than he wants to hear Jimin beg for his cum after a night of being ignored.  _ Stop.  _ That part of him will have to stay put, it’s not worth the risk to push his perfect angel away. He's learned his lesson from tonight. No more choking, no more commanding, no power play. He's not going to do any of that again. No. He’s going to spoil Jimin, take care of him, make sure he’s always smiling. Just like he is now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taemin gets softer whilst Jimin gets curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a shorter chapter skipping through the events of the 2016 KBS Song Festival but I think it works!
> 
> Since this chapter references a lot of viewable things, here are some links -  
> [Taemin's Press It performance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZHBVyJISO0)  
> [The backstage interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW1XrZEu15Q)  
> [TwoMin's performance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEURku1dTfU)

Taemin hates waiting more than anything, he’d much rather be  _ doing.  _ But he’s been sat around backstage for hours doing just that, waiting around for staff and mic checks and outfits and everything else that comes with end of year award shows. It’s tedious, even more so because he’s not just waiting for the show itself now, he’s waiting for Jimin. When they said goodbye in the early hours of the morning, Taemin made a promise that he would wait for Jimin to get there, that they would make sure they could spend at least 10 minutes of ‘quality’ time together before things got too hectic. And he kept his promise, he looked for him every chance he got, every time they walked around the building, every room he was dragged into, but he couldn’t see him anywhere. If it was up to him, he would have sat in front of BTS’s dressing room all night.That’s his new outlook, he’ll do anything for Jimin, even things he can’t stand doing. Especially waiting. He’d spend a lifetime waiting for Jimin.

It was unavoidable that Taemin was eventually ushered into the dressing room SHINee were sharing with a few other of their labelmates and his hope of spending some one-on-one time with Jimin was gone. They both have a long night ahead of them, Taemin’s got three pretty draining performances, plus the little group song to wrap up the show. But he’s sure they’ll bump into each other before their ‘Two Min’ stage. Besides, now would be a good time to get a few minutes of sleep in since he didn’t have much chance to recharge overnight.

Over the years, he’s learnt he can fall asleep anywhere, even standing up, so he slouches back into his chair and closes his eyes, blocking out all the noise around him. Just as he feels himself drifting off..  _ bzzz.  _ He grits his teeth, annoyed at the impeccable timing of whoever it is trying to bother him.

But it could be Jimin.

Nope. Wrong one.

**Ha Sungwoon:** Good luck T, I'll be watching just for you!

**Lee Taemin:** Thanks Woon. Wish you could be here.

He was being polite. That's all. That's it. He doesn't wish he was here. Not when Jimin is. How would he even handle both of them in the same room together now? Is he supposed to keep whatever it is going with Sungwoon? Jimin probably wouldn't expect that, not that they’re in any position to be talking about exclusivity but.. yeah, he's going to have to find a way to end it. Even just getting the text from Sungwoon has set Taemin on edge. Sungwoon is the link to that part of him he has to suppress. The part he doesn’t  _ really  _ want to suppress. It’s too tempting. He’s going to end it. Definitely.

**Ha Sungwoon:** I hope we can meet up before you leave.

That's the other thing, Taemin was going on their Japanese tour at the end of January for 3 months and when he gets back Sungwoon will be participating in that survival show he’s got on to. It’s a natural time for them to distance themselves. So he's absolutely not going to see Sungwoon before he leaves, he’ll do everything he can to avoid him, and the time apart will just push them.. well, apart. Then it’s not messy. Everyone’s still friends and it's just a thing they did for a while. ‘Stress relief’. That’s all. But no matter how many times he tells himself that, he’s not convinced. He doesn’t like leaving things up to chance and if Sungwoon does debut in a temporary group, that means he'll be promoting again and they'll bump into each other a lot more and if Taemin is playing domestic chicken with Jimin then he’s going to find Sungwoon even more inviting.  _ Shit.  _ Sooner or later, Sungwoon is going to drive a wedge between him and Jimin. It’s inevitable. 

His mind jumps to the next logical train of thought, what’s he supposed to without Jimin for 3 months? He could fly back, there’d be money in the budget somewhere. Or maybe Jimin would be in Japan at some point during that time anyway. They can check their schedules. They can make it work. Assuming this thing goes well, this  _ new  _ type of relationship. But what if it doesn’t? He’s going to spend that whole time abroad sulking. And there’ll be no Sungwoon to fall back on, to take his anger out on. He’d have neither of them. Nothing...

It takes him a second to snap back into reality, to realise that he’s gripping the arms of the chair, breathing loud enough for the others to hear. He’s causing a bit of a scene, something Taemin never does. Jongin is watching him from across the room and when Taemin notices, Jongin raises his eyebrows in a show of concern. Taemin nods his head, sinking back into his chair, embarrassed.  _ That was new. _

\-----------------------

It's a little while longer until Jimin and Taemin finally cross paths backstage. There's about an hour or so until showtime, a precious hour they can spend staring at each other from a distance. And that's all they can do. They sneak glances at each other, constantly flirting with their eyes, cute little smiles hidden from everyone else, a wink here and there. Taemin is cautious, trying hard not to be  _ overly  _ sexual, but there’s not much more he can do from this distance, with so many people in between him. Well, maybe there is.

Taemin grabs his phone and tries to think of something romantic, something Jimin would want to hear. Honestly it’s hard, it doesn’t come naturally for him at all, but he stumbles across something inside him that isn't too far fetched. Something genuine. ‘ _ I wish you were still in my bed this morning’ ... _ No, sounds too  _ physical _ . Needs to be more lovey-dovey.

**Lee Taemin:** I wish I could have woken up next to you this morning

He keeps his eye on Jimin, waiting for him to get the notification. When he does, his face lights up, trying to mute his happiness in front of so many watchful eyes. He looks over at Taemin with a shy smile before he replies.

**Park Jimin:** Me too. I wish we could watch the sunrise together :)

_ Damn it, that would have been much better. _ Taemin’s about to type something out when he’s called away by a member of staff, giving him his filming schedule for the evening. As it happens, he’s going to be filming a backstage interview segment with Jimin. His heart flutters at the news.

\-----------------------

Taemin performs two songs from Press It early on and it’s no surprise that Jimin is stood gawking at the monitor in their dressing room; watching Taemin own the stage. He’s got that look in his eye, the way he stares down the camera lense with dominance, it makes Jimin feel funny inside. He wonders if Taemin chose that outfit to make his mouth water, because it was certainly having the desired effect. The loose black fabric of his top was parting with every movement, his chest and the top of his abs on display for everyone to see. He looks so good in all-black, with that little white strip of fabric tied to his belt, so charming but dangerous and Jimin’s never been this attracted to anyone in his life. Something about seeing Taemin perform so passionately in this setting, with that red lighting..  _ God.  _ He feels the heat rushing to his cock as he imagines what it would be like if Taemin was staring into his eyes right now instead of the camera, a private performance. Jimin’s heartbeat quickens at the thought of Taemin stepping out of his final pose, panting heavily, stalking towards him just like he did in the dance studio that day, untying the slip of white fabric and pulling it taught in his fists. He’s falling further down the rabbit hole, subconsciously stroking his wrist wondering what it would feel like if Taemin bound them together, the white fabric digging gently into his skin.

When the song ends, the camera cuts backstage. Jimin blinks his way out of the trance he’s in, not sure what just came over him or where those thoughts came from, but he feels weird. He needs to see Taemin, now.

Taemin runs off stage, leaving that assertive, self-assured part of him behind. It takes him a second to shake off the buzz of performing but then he’s calm again, taking in the mindless praise being thrown at him by staff and other idols. When he turns the corner to the stretch of dressing rooms, Jimin flings himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck and showering him with compliments. It’s a good job everyone knows they’re close, some people are even calling their performance the ‘bromance stage’, otherwise there would be a lot of raised eyebrows right now.

They pull apart and Taemin spots the faint evidence of the hickey he left on Jimin’s delicate skin last night, an attempt clearly been made to cover it up with makeup. He runs his finger over the mark seductively and Jimin giggles, nervously clutching his neck the second Taemin lowers his hand.

“They’ve made a few chokers for me to wear to hide it on stage. Everyone’s teasing me about it, but I haven’t told them anything, I promise.” Jimin whispers, basking in that forbidden feeling that comes with keeping it a secret.

Taemin starts to drift into his imagination, picturing Jimin in an array of chokers.  _ Don’t think about it. _

\-----------------------

Before long, they find themselves standing by for their backstage interview segment. Jimin comes to life when the cameraman gives everyone their countdown and Taemin is enraptured by his beautiful smile. He's glowing, radiant, and that hickey must have been touched up because it’s nowhere to be seen.

It’s a good job they’re both hidden behind Minho and Chanyeol when they go live, otherwise the whole world would see straight through the way Taemin is staring longingly at his friend stood next to him, realising how magical it is to see Jimin transform when he has an audience.  _ Interesting.  _ Taemin can’t resist being a  _ teeny  _ bit playful in this kind of situation, so he switches his charm on too.

When asked about their upcoming performance, Taemin stares Jimin dead in the eye, talking about how much they practiced with a look that only Jimin knows means Taemin isn’t talking about ‘practicing’. The younger can't hide his surprise, a nervous laugh falling from his lips, and Taemin is thriving on Jimin's reaction.

That is until Jimin responds. Somehow, Jimin has gained a lot of courage since the camera turned on, the thoughts he had watching Taemin earlier still fresh in his mind, and he doesn’t cower away with embarrassment. Part of him wants to try and play too. He chirps up, talking about how he's always wanted to  _ perform _ with Taemin. Taemin catches on just as quickly as Jimin, realising Jimin's not talking about dancing either. The older is momentarily stunned by Jimin’s boldness, shocked at the change in him. The whole situation makes Jimin giggle for the rest of the interview, and it even throws Chanyeol off. But it’s not enough for Taemin, he needs to  _ win _ . He rests his hand on Jimin’s shoulder whilst praising him for his hard work, lightly stroking his palm down his arm and back again, his touch lingering a little too long, and Jimin falters, his smile dropping for a moment as Taemin’s touch sends shocks through him, before the giggles return.

It’s still not enough. Taemin’s determined to make Jimin crumble on camera, so he makes a joke about how puffy Jimin’s eyes are and Jimin almost folds in half, cuddling into Taemin’s shoulder with laughter, flustered by how blatant Taemin is being. But no-one else knows. No-one knows why Jimin’s eyes are puffy, why he got so little sleep last night, just Jimin, so the comment feels so naughty, so daring, and it's visibly driving him wild.

The whole interview is a little awkward, the tension between both of them is glaringly obvious, but Taemin’s not worried. No one will bat an eye, it’s always awkward when idols interview idols, so he’s confident no one would look for little signs and hidden meanings. Besides, they're famously good friends, no one will look any deeper. But Taemin learned quite a lot from that interview, he knows that Jimin enjoys the secrecy, the threat of being found out, walking that thin line of being aroused on camera. It makes sense, Jimin's a natural performer. And Taemin can work with that.

\-----------------------

Jimin always gets nervous before going on stage, his mind plays through all the worst case scenarios; forgetting the words, falling on his face, his trousers ripping. He barely ever worries about his dancing, he puts so many endless nights of practice in that he can dance as easily as he can breath. But now, his mind has gone blank and he’s losing his nerve. Luckily, Taemin is right beside him.

“Jimin, there’s no one more prepared to do this than you.” He reassures him, “Just take a second and remember that.”

“I know, I know. I just need a few minutes.” Jimin groans, desperation thick in his voice.

“We don’t have a few minutes, we need to stand by now. Come on, Minnie”

“No I… I’m not ready.” Jimin backs away from Taemin's hand that's reaching for his arm and the older sighs In frustration.  _ Well this isn't good. _

He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. He promised himself he wouldn’t be  _ that  _ person with Jimin, but he knows it’s guaranteed to work, they've proved that before, and right now they don’t have time for anything else.

Taemin leans in closer, his hand rising to that little choker the stylist must have made out of excess shirt fabric in a panic this morning. He runs his index finger along Jimin’s neck, tucking it just under the hem of the striped fabric, and leans in close.

“Baby, you’re going to be perfect. You always are.” His voice is soft but stern. “You’ll make me so proud. Isn't that what you what?”

Jimin moans behind closed lips. That’s all he wants, to make Taemin proud. And now Taemin is trailing his finger down the deep V of Jimin’s shirt, fighting against the angel on his shoulder telling him to stop. It doesn’t make sense. Jimin responds so well to this, better than Sungwoon even. But it’s not what he wants. The way his body reacts conflicts with the words that come out of his mouth and it's not fair. It’s confusing. Taemin pulls back, a sweetness back in his tone.

“Look, If we make it through this with no mistakes, i'll treat you to a whole night of doing whatever you want.” Taemin says playfully, swinging his arms wide open as if he’s got the whole word to offer him. Now the ball is in Jimin’s court, it’s up to him. Pulled out of his sensual state, Jimin considers his offer for a moment, a fake-thoughtful expression on his face before e comes back with something painfully innocent.

“Oooh, it’s been a while since i beat you at pool.” Jimin suggests with excitement, “And then we could maybe watch a film?”

Taemin can’t fathom how that can be someone’s first choice rather than ‘fuck me senseless’ but he can’t resist the contagious smile on Jimin’s face right now, and if it makes Jimin happy, it makes him happy.

“Whatever you want baby. Now, let's go.”

\-----------------------

The performance came and went in a blur. All Taemin really remembers is the moment they circle each other, clasping hands and pulling each other in close before pushing apart and continuing their routine. He remembers grinning like an idiot and the gleaming smile on Jimin’s face as they get a chance to look at each other for the first time since they started dancing. It felt intimate, like they weren’t just dancing, but it signified something more. And briefly, for a few seconds, it was just the two of them. No audience, no cameras. Just the two of them lost in their own little word, wishing it could stay that way forever.

They don't get much chance to speak when they leave the stage, both having to change and prepare for more performances with their members. So the rest of the night Taemin is left wondering, hoping that Jimin felt that too.

\-----------------------

After the curtains are pulled, when everyone is walking off stage from the final group performance of the night, they find each other, making their way back to their dressing rooms to pack their things up and leave.

“So, when are you free for our little date night?” Taemin teases, out of earshot of everyone else walking by. “I want to see you as much as I can before I leave.”

Jimin's face drops as he remembers that Taemin only has another month before going on tour and then they won’t see each for, well, way too long.

“It’ll be okay, Minnie” Taemin coos, recognising that glum expression, “We'll talk every day. I might be able to fly back once or twice. We have a whole month to enjoy before then, so don't dwell on it.” It was reassuring, but it didn’t cheer Jimin up. They reach the door with the giant typed ‘BTS’ sign on the front and they hover around awkwardly, neither knowing how to really say goodbye.

“Just let me know which days you’re free, and we’ll plan something on every s-i-n-g-l-e one of them.” Taemin says, gently resting his hand on Jimin's shoulder. It's a little bit comforting.

“Mhm,” Jimin mumbles towards his feet.

Taemin waits until the corridor is empty, checks for cameras and steals a quick kiss, just a peck, but it’s enough to make Jimin smile again. With a wink, the older turns on his heel and walks back to his dressing room.

He looks over his shoulder, hoping to find the younger doing the same, but Jimin’s already gone. Without thinking, he pulls out his phone.

**Lee Taemin:** I miss you already.


	7. Chapter 7

Taemin sunk down onto the leather bench after taking his shot, propping the pool cue against the wall. After going easy on Jimin for the first two games, the younger got a little cocky and as endearing as he is when he’s being cute, Taemin can’t wait to steal that victory away from him.

“Just tell me when you want me to start actually trying.” Taemin teased with a smirk. Jimin just shrugged the comment off, sticking his tongue out and resting on the table to line up his shot.

There was such an obvious difference between tonight and the last time they’d played pool together. That weirdness and hostility now completely gone, Jimin was free to act however he wanted, no longer holding back his true feelings. He seemed the happiest he'd ever been, no relapses, no anxiety attacks, no daunting phone calls in the middle of the night. Taemin considered that this change in Jimin might mean the boy is no longer intimidated by him, that he no longer sees him as that ‘ _god’_ that he looked up to and worshiped. He’d rather that wasn’t the case, that dynamic played into Taemin’s hands well. But it’s not important now. Because Jimin is his. Finally.

“..Hellooo? Stop staring at my ass and hurry up. It’s your turn.” Jimin jokes, wiggling his ass from the other side of the table. Taemin’s fingers tickle his palm as he longed for permission to spank it.

Taemin finishes clearing the table of all but the 8-ball when his pocket vibrates for the fifth time since he woke up this morning. He hasn’t bothered to check the last few times it rang, because he knows it’s Sungwoon. He’s been ringing constantly since they last texted, the night of KBS Song Festival, and Taemin has ignored every single call. It’s easier than facing any kind of truth that he is going to have to call it quits with him. It’s not like he really even wants to. But he should. And he will. Just not yet.

Not letting the disturbance phase him, he pockets the black, leaving four of Jimin’s striped balls on the table. Jimin  _ hmphs  _ in defeat.

“You’re still one game up, don’t pout. Best of five? Let’s place bets?” Taemin asks, knowing Jimin won’t bite, he’s not a gambling man.

“Hmm, i’d rather quit whilst I’m ahead.”

“Chicken.” Taemin taunts with a raised eyebrow, unsure of what he’s even going to gain from provoking him. Jimin’s not falling for it anyway.

“Speaking of, I’m hungry.” Jimin pouts, rubbing his tummy in an adorable little circular motion, an over exaggerated frown forming on his face.

“Okay… but you know you’d have lost anyway.” Taemin teases, downing the rest of his drink and picking up their coats from the bench.

After standing outside in the cold for two minutes, thinking about what kind of food they fancy, they settle on a newly opened restaurant just around the corner, since its closest and they’re absolutely freezing standing around. At least that’s what Jimin thinks. But Taemin had thought about all of this when they’d organized to meet today, when they’d finally found a date that suited both of them. He knew it would be cold and Jimin wouldn’t want to go far. He also knew the owner of the new restaurant and he’d managed to pull a few strings to get the back room booked out all night so they’d have some privacy. He knew they would end up there, because that’s what he wanted.

They hurry inside the building and Taemin is instantly greeted with a familiar welcome by the head waiter, a detail that Jimin misses since he’s too busy taking in the decor. It’s fancier than he’d expected,  _ and probably more expensive,  _ but it’s perfect for a romantic dinner for two. They’re ushered into the back room and the waiter leaves them at their seats. There’s no menu on the tables, but Jimin doesn’t linger on that, they’ll probably be brought over when they’ve both settled in.

The waiter leaves them at their seats and Jimin comments on how quiet it is.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if no one else got seated in here.” Jimin hopes. It  _ would _ be nice to not have that fear that someone is taking a picture or recording them. It's daunting eating in public places when everyone knows your face.

“Why, wanna fool around?” Taemin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and it’s silly but Jimin blushes.

“Maybe we have to ask for the menu?” The younger thinks aloud, changing the topic quickly.

“Oh, no menu.” Taemin says, leaning forward to hold Jimin’s hands across the table. “I already ordered.”

“What, when?” Jimin flinches at Taemin’s touch, trying to pull back, nervous that even the waiters might see. They are technically hidden from the main seating area, and there’s no windows, just white panelled walls filled with mirrors and artwork, but still. Taemin doesn’t let Jimin's hands go, interlacing their fingers, locking him in.

“Not important,” The older tries to reassure him, “I ordered your favourite.”

“But we just deci...  _ oh.”  _ Aaand after a few second of the cogs churning in his head, Jimin’s up to speed, his posture slumping as he starts to feel more comfortable. “And this room?”

“All ours.” Taemin affirms, sounding very proud of himself.

Jimin almost swoons on the spot, the whole gesture more thoughtful than he imagined Taemin could be. How can he sound so cool when he’s being so romantic, like it’s effortless for him to switch on this dreamy charm. But it’s not romantic, not to Taemin, because picking the restaurant, isolating them from everyone else, choosing Jimin’s food, they were all necessary moves Taemin had to play to feel in control. And they were working, his selfish choices disguised as sweet gestures, they were enough to satisfy the most basic, stripped-down version of Taemin's  _ need _ . But now that his fingers are snug in Jimin's, his hands are getting clammy. And that's not part of the plan. It's the only thing revealing how nervous he really is, the only proof he has any weakness at all, so before Jimin can feel it he gently wriggles his fingers out from their hold and reaches for the jug of water on the table.

“Water?” Taemin hums, hovering the jug above Jimin’s glass. Jimin stares at him with adoration, nodding blindly, not paying any attention to the words that just came out of his mouth. He's overwhelmed by the warm, fuzzy feeling pulsing through his veins. He loves it, being treated and spoiled, someone taking care of him. He's almost relieved he didn't have to worry about making decisions for himself, because then he won't beat himself up if they end up being the wrong ones. And he's so sure that Taemin knows what makes him happy, so he can trust him completely. It's a weight off his chest. It makes things easy.

He really could get used to this.

When their food is served, the waiter places a few uncapped bottles of beer in front of them both, reminding Taemin that they’ve ordered extra crates of Jimin’s favourite beer and they'll keep on bringing them out. If Jimin hadn't been pulled out of his trance by the mention of his own name, he wouldn't have realised how scripted it sounded.

Okay, so Taemin  _ had  _ asked the waiter to say that, just in case the pieces hadn’t already fallen into place by that point, but the delivery of the line was terrible. Taemin chuckles to himself as the waiter walks away, aware that Jimin is laughing at him too.

“Tonight is my treat, remember?” Taemin says after he'd finished internally cringing. “I’m not putting a limit on how much my baby can enjoy himself.”

Jimin’s chest flutters. He just wants to hug him and kiss him and show him how appreciative he is, but he's too shy, he just couldn't do that here. He wants to be good for him and he wants to say thank you but he's left it too long, the moment has passed. He takes a long chug of beer, determined that the alcohol will help him put his feelings into words later.

They're tucking into their food when Taemin excuses himself to go to the toilet. He's only gone a minute, but in a cruel twist of fate, Sungwoon picks that perfect moment to ring Jimin.

“Hey Woon-ah, whats up?”

“Ah Chim, what are you doing?” Sungwoon always spoke to Jimin in a pitch slightly higher than he used with anyone else. They'd shared so much of their pain and anger with each other, the endless nights ranting and crying in each other's arms, that Jimin always put it down to Sungwoon showing his 'best face’ for him, letting him know he's okay in that moment. If anything, it made him appreciate Sungwoon even more.

“Just eating at that new restaurant we were looking at.” Jimin mumbles around a mouthful of food. “S'good, we'll have to come back together.”

The brush of fingertips on his sleeve catches him off guard for a second, but it's just Taemin, affectionately caressing his shoulder as he passes back to his chair. He's smiling like he's genuinely happy to see him again after a minute apart and Jimin can't get used to seeing Taemin like this.  

“Oh cool. Well I won’t keep you from eating, I’m just calling to see if you’d heard from Taemin at all recently?” Sungwoon asks, his voice stiffening on the last words.

Jimin looks at Taemin with a puzzled look, his eyes squinting as he examines the body in front of him. Taemin mimics him, unsure what he's playing along with.

“Uhh yeah, unless it's a hologram i'm pretty sure he's sitting right in front of me...”

Taemin gulps, looking away in disappointment. He knows straight away who it is, and the mistake Jimin just unknowingly made. It's not his fault, he wasn't to know Taemin was desperately avoiding him, but now Sungwoon knows they're together, and where they are. And that's dangerous.

Jimin makes a promise to hang out soon before he hangs up.  _ Great _ . Sungwoon being alone with Jimin would be a recipe for a disaster. The things he could tell him...

“Sungwoon?” Taemin asks, hoping he's wrong. But Jimin just nods, paying close attention to the older’s reaction.  

Taemin isn’t surprised that Sungwoon didn’t ask to speak to him, even after all his relentless efforts to contact him recently. He can put two and two together, he's smart, annoyingly so. Sungwoon has a sixth sense for knowing things about people even before they do, for reading people well, and Jimin was a goddamn picture book.

“So, what's all that about?” Jimin asks, stuffing a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“Nothing really, I dunno I just missed a couple of his calls earlier. I didn't realise it was urgent.” Taemin spills out with a shrug, Jimin still staring at him whilst chewing, waiting for more. “I’ll catch up with him later.” It's an easy enough lie. Taemin’s got a knack for lying and it’s something he's proud of, although he really shouldn't be. It's a horrible trait. And he doesn't really get any joy from lying to Jimin. Not about this. He might even feel a bit of guilt... or maybe it's just indigestion. Either way, Jimin doesn't probe any further.

They're contemplating dessert when Taemin's phone vibrates against his thigh.

**Ha Sungwoon:** Replaced me that quickly huh?

**Ha Sungwoon:** He’s not like you and me. He won’t give you what you need.

_ Asshole.  _

He stuffs his phone back into his pocket without responding, only to hear another faint  _ bzzz _ a second later. But he didn't feel it. It's not his phone. Jimin unlocks his own phone and Taemin feels his stomach drop a little.

“Who's that?” The older asks, and he doesn't mean to sound possessive, but it comes out very controlling.

“Just Woon again, he told me he needs me to ring him when I get home. Maybe I’ll just call him now?” Jimin suggests as his fingers begin bouncing away on the screen. “Seems like there's something up with him tonight.”

“Baby, no.” Taemin gets up in a flash to grab Jimin's phone out of his hand, ending the call before it even began. Jimin's stunned into place by the urgency, and why the hell did Taemin just take his phone away?

This is much too close for comfort. Jimin's so naive, too caring, it's his biggest downfall. Taemin can't avoid them talking forever, but he can certainly make sure they don't tonight. Worried that Sungwoon might do something unpredictable like show up, which would actually be pretty predictable after all, he's eager to get out of there.

“I'll do it.” His voice is calm and steady again, like that frantic outburst didn't just happen. “I don't want you to get yourself worried, okay? I'll go pay the bill and I'll call him.”

Unsure if he's relieved or upset, Jimin just moves his head up and down, mumbling a quiet 'thanks’ when Taemin places his phone back down infront of him.

“I don't want anything to ruin this night.” Taemin coos, placing a delicate kiss on the tip of Jimin's nose. And with that one second of skin-to-skin contact, Jimin forgives him, smiling from ear to ear as the older walks away.

True to his word, Taemin pays his tab and hangs back beside a storeroom to call Sungwoon. He's calm enough when he scrolls through his contacts to find Sungwoon's number, but with each ring that the younger doesn't answer, anger builds inside him.

“I knew you'd call.” Sungwoon mocks, sounding so high and mighty when he answers on the last ring and a switch flips in Taemin's head.

“Shut up.” The older growls through gritted teeth. “If you say anything to Jimin, I swear to god Sungwoon, I'll…”

“Mmm, don't make threats when I'm not there.” The younger interrupts, moaning airily into the phone.

It's not Taemin's fault his body reacts on its own, he can't stop the blood rushing to his cock, or the way it jumps alive like it's desperate to play. But he can control his thoughts, or at least try to overrule them.  __

“No. We're not doing this. Not now. Listen to me, you keep your mouth shut or this thing is over. I'm serious. I'm fucking red Sungwoon.” Taemin spat. His voice was borderline scary, devoid of any other  emotion.

At no point during their  _ whatever _ ship had Taemin ever uttered one of their safewords, their little code to make sure things were okay when Taemin needed to let off steam. They were for Sungwoon really. And Taemin had scoffed at the idea that  _ he _ would even need them, because there was absolutely nothing that would stop him from enjoying that private time with Sungwoon, but they set the rule anyway, just to be sensible.

He knows they're not necessarily meant to be used during day-to-day life, and it felt like the weak way out, but he knows it's the one thing that will show Sungwoon how serious he really is. And it worked. The mere mention of the colour falling from Taemin's tongue for the first time ever pulled Sungwoon swiftly from his little game..

“Woah, w-woooah. I’m sorry. I was just trying to-to get your attention.” Sungwoon stuttered, regretting his choices.

“Well you got it. And if you want to keep it, stop.” Taemin growled, backing further into the storeroom as he spoke.

Sungwoon mumbled into the phone like a scorned child who lost the guts to speak.

“Sungwoon.” Taemin barked. It's just one word, but it had the power of a hundred.

“Yes, okay okay. I'll stop. But you gotta stop ignoring me.” He pleads. And that's all this is about, Sungwoon is needy and bored. Like always.

“Yeah, fine. But don’t text me again tonight.”

There it is, as soon as they hang up. That guilt again. He's supposed to wind it down with Sungwoon but there he was, using the threat of separation to his advantage. Why is it so hard to do the right thing? It's just too risky, he needs to keep Sungwoon happy, that's what he's telling himself. That's the  _ only _ reason he won't let him go. That's what he keeps repeating in his head to make the guilt go away as he walks back to the table and squats besides Jimin's chair.

“Woonie’s fine, he's just being needy.” Taemin chuckles with a bright smile, free from the constraints of an actual lie. “You ready baby?”

They leave the restaurant and stand under the entrance porch to cling on to the last bit of warmth seeping out the door before facing the cold wind.

“So… cinema?” Taemin prompts, “What do you wanna see?”

“You mean you haven’t already chosen that for me too?” The younger teases with a light-hearted nudge of Taemin’s arm.

Taemin sighs. “Ha, no, I gotta give you some choices.”  _ Unfortunately. _

“Well I was thinking we could just watch something back at your place anyway?” Jimin's asks timidly,  a little nervous about his desire to be in a more private setting. “There's nothing playing right now that I really wanna see anyway.”

“Mhm, anything you want.” Taemin's happy with that, but not as happy as he's pretending to be because only then does it dawn on him that when they're really alone behind closed doors, Jimin might expect something  _ loving _ .

Taemin has obsessed over that word endlessly since it came out of Jimin's sobbing mouth. And logically, there's no reason why he  _ can't _ be affectionate and tender and sweet and vanilla. It's physically possible, but it's not the physical side he's worried about. He’s been craving Jimin for so long, his obsession with him growing tirelessly and that need, that urge, that darkness inside him never went away. In fact, it's been a while since he's really let loose with Sungwoon, so it's hungrier than ever, just laying idle waiting for a chance to rear its ugly head when Taemin is weak, too preoccupied to fight it back down. That's the problem. It's a slippery slope, a thin blurry line and one wrong look or noise from Jimin could trigger it.

But maybe it won’t even be an issue. They'll probably just end up cuddling and falling asleep anyway. They've barely even kissed today. How presumptuous is it to think Jimin is even ready for anything more. Maybe Taemin is just tiptoeing around the boy too much since he broke down in the shower, but he feels like they've gone backwards.

Is it normal procedure to make someone come and  _ then _ start dating? Is he supposed to ignore the fact that Jimin has, knowingly or not, acted so delectably submissive today? To just pretend that the whole hotel thing didn't happen and they're starting from square one? To pretend that Jimin didn’t look like he desperately  _ wanted _ to be eaten alive all those weeks in the dance studio? Or how Jimin had admitted he liked Taemin taking control of his thoughts? How much he longed for praise? How well he responded to it?

_ Ugh. _

It's fine. Small steps. It's worth it. It'll be okay. 

\-----------------------

It wasn't as awkward as Taemin thought it would be, the pair of them sitting in silence next to each other, watching a movie. There was no heavy expectation hovering in the air, no feeling that they were just waiting for one another to make a move. It was effortless, it was easy. Comfortable. Just comfortable.

Since they'd walked through the door to Taemin's flat, everything had been a lot less stressful. Neither of them had any contact from Sungwoon and Taemin could breathe a sigh of relief knowing he couldn't ruin the night. There was no reason to be on edge, no cause for alarm, nothing to worry about anywhere. Taemin wasn't in any kind of mood other than content.

So them sitting an inch apart on Taemin's sofa was fine. And when Taemin started to rub Jimin's back, that was fine too. Because it felt right. It was  _ nice. _ As the film went on, Jimin habitually shuffled closer. He'd leaned forward to pick up his bottle from the coffee table and when he sat back he just happened to be a few centimetres to the left. When he laughed, his body shook and his legs curled up and it's impossible to get back into the exact same position again. It didn't feel forced when he snuggled up to Taemin either, and for a while they were both happy cuddled up together, one of Jimin's knees overlapping Taemin's.

Almost half-way through the film, Jimin's concentration wavered and he lost interest, distracted by every other pastime available. He began twiddling with the tag on Taemin's sleeve, picking at a strand of loose cotton from the seam on Taemin's shoulder. Before long, Jimin's attention was fully tuned to Taemin, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath, becoming absorbed in the rhythm of the visible pulse in his neck. He'd never looked at him this closely before, he'd stared at him for hours on end but there's a difference between looking and really  _ seeing.  _ The little mole beside his nose, his squared-off philtrum, his eyelashes, his laugh lines. Everything became so fascinating.

Aware of Jimin's persistent staring, Taemin's cheeks were starting to burn. He avoided turning his head as long as he could until he started to feel self-conscious, for the first time in years. When he finally looks at Jimin, their faces are a lot closer than he realised, and he doesn't let his earlier reservations stop him from leaning in to feel the warm of his inviting lips. That kiss leads to another, and another, and suddenly they're tangled up in eachother, they've reshuffled, Taemin pulling Jimin onto his lap, the film a distant memory. Taemin can't hear the audio anymore, only the faint little hums and groans coming from Jimin's mouth, the breath they take when their lips part, the internal noises of saliva and swallowing and his heart pounding in his ear.

Taemin runs his fingers through Jimin's hair, sweeping the strands off his face and pulling him closer towards him. It's surprising how easy this all really is. There's no urge fighting it's way out, nothing to suppress. He's in control, not in the way he'd like to be, but he's in control of himself at least, and that's half the battle.

It reaches that obvious moment where something else needs to happen, something more. And that’s where it starts to fall apart because Taemin is as clueless as Jimin. He doesn't know how to take the lead without issuing a command or just taking what he wants. And last time he did that, Jimin had  cried , so that was definitely off the books. The longer they kiss, the more he feels like an idiot, because Jimin must be waiting for him to do something too.

So they break apart, Taemin moving his mouth to meet the crevice in Jimin's collarbone, hoping that the change in pace will naturally lead to something else. In a way, it does.

Taemin straightens his back and pulls his hips back against the cushion to move out of the uncomfortable position he'd slouched into. In the process of shuffling backwards, he feels Jimin buckle down, his crotch pressing into Taemin's groin, his hips rolling momentarily. Taemin opens his eyes, expecting some kind of confirmation that the move was intentional, but all he can see is Jimin's fluttering eyelashes. So he tells himself he imagined it, because surely Jimin wouldn't initiate anything.

Until it happens again. Jimin lifts himself up slightly so he could push his hips downwards and it's unmistakable this time. He's grinding on Taemin's crotch, rubbing his cock against Taemin’s, separated by the layers of fabric between them. It's torturous, they're so close together but only just touching and Taemin moans in disbelief. His head rolls back, resting on the top of the couch and Jimin's latches to his neck instantly, desperate to become acquainted with every inch of him.

“Hyung, take this off?” Jimin's pleads, tugging at Taemin's shirt. And reality hits Taemin like a ton of bricks.

He never takes his clothes off first.

Nobody asks  _ him _ to undress.

That's not how this works.

Jimin pulls at the fabric, raising it above Taemin’s abs, and the older is is no position to do anything but oblige, lifting his arms to help Jimin pull it over his head. He slouches back, staring wide-eyed at the gorgeous, alluring boy whose hands are now running all over his body, whose cushioned lips are gently brushing over his skin, puckering around his nipple. But it doesn't do anything for him, he doesn't react the same way as Jimin does. Because he gets his kicks from giving, from being the one awarding pleasure, or inflicting pain, not receiving it, so much so that his own body has become desensitised. So much that so that he doesn't even really want to be touched like this. It makes him feel so exposed, so weak and helpless. And as his eyes sink shut, his mind keeps telling him this isn’t right.

He withstands Jimin’s tender touch, only because it’s him, until the younger slides off his lap. Assuming he’s just repositioning himself, Taemin doesn't react to Jimin's absence at first, not until he feels nimble little fingers attacking his belt buckle. His eyes gape open to see Jimin kneeling between his legs, his face inches away from his crotch, focused on undoing Taemin's belt.

“Jimin, woah woah, what are you doing?” Taemin asks through hurried gasps, his hands rushing to fend off Jimin's.

“Last time, all the attention was on me, so i thought tonight i could return the favour…” Jimin sounds really nervous and small and cute. “I just wanted to show you how much I enjoyed today.”

“Are you sure?” Taemin asks, resting his palm on the side of Jimin’s face. “If you’re not ready…”

“I am.” Jimin says eagerly, biting his lip with excitement.

It’s Taemin that isn’t.

The older nods an 'okay’, for his own benefit more than Jimin's, and slopes back to let Jimin continue. The younger clumsily unlinks Taemin’s belt, pops the top button of his jeans open and unzips his fly, smiling to himself like he’s got something to be proud of. Taemin lifts his hips up so Jimin can slide his jeans off, but Jimin surprises him once again, hooking his fingers under the elastic waistband of his boxers, pulling them both down in one go.

And now Taemin’s naked, bar the black socks bunched up around his ankles. And Jimin’s fully clothed. It’s all backwards. It’s all wrong.

As Taemin's cock bobs back towards his body, Jimin is overcome with the sudden realisation that he’s never actually been face to face with someone else’s dick before. What is he even supposed to do? He’s spent more than enough time with his own dick over recent years, but being up close with one that wasn't attached to him.. he forgot that it was literally the same thing. And it's silly, because it’s the same, but it’s so different. The whole feeling of touching someone else’s dick so foreign.

He brings his hand to it slowly as if it’s an animal that might snap at him, his small fingers curling around it like someone figuring out how tightly they can hold a newborn puppy. Taemin takes temporary respite from his worried thoughts to chuckle at Jimin’s tentativeness.

“It won’t bite.” He teases.  _ I can’t promise I won’t. _

Feeling the sudden pressure that came with Taemin’s words, Jimin laughs nervously and stiffly moves his hand up and down, twisting and rotating it around Taemin’s cock, getting used to the unfamiliar angle before he leans in to softly sweep his tongue across the tip. The older’s body jolts involuntarily and Jimin’s eyes flick up, staring at him inquisitively as he parts his lips and runs another small lick up his length. Jimin's so eager to try it, it's so fucking sexy. And Taemin’s bursting inside, dying to reach out and touch him, but he daren’t, not even just to hold his head because he’s afraid he won’t be able to stop there, not when he’s dying to take back control, desperate to stop feeling so utterly helpless. Instead, he grips the couch, his knuckles turning white.

Happy with Taemin's reaction, Jimin wraps his lips around the head of his cock, pausing to figure out his plan of action before sliding his mouth down further. Unprepared for how much saliva he’s making, he tries to swallow but it's a little harder than he imagines. He panics, pulling away with a satisfying  _ pop _ .

“Take it easy.” Taemin murmurs, “don’t try and take too much, there’s no rush.” His hands release their grip on the couch and he uses them to hold the base of his cock in place as Jimin guides his head down slowly. He picks up the pace as he becomes more comfortable with the motions.

The boy’s a natural, as he expected with those perfect lips, and he’s clearly enjoying himself. There’s something empowering about giving head and Jimin’s getting swept up in it. But Taemin can’t really appreciate being on the receiving end like this, not when he’s not actively doing something himself. And even though his body is reacting, he can’t convince his mind to enjoy it.

So he tries reaching out, petting Jimin's hair as he bobs up and down on his cock, gushing out praise and encouragement to try and sway the power in his direction, but his head just isn't in it. It doesn’t work without context. If he was rewarding him, he’d be in his element. But it’s not a reward if there are no rules. And without rules, there’s no lingering threat of punishment. Without the ability to reprimand, there’s no authority. And even if Jimin never once stepped out of line, Taemin would happily live the rest of his life only rewarding him. Because it’s  _ not _ about punishment. With Sungwoon it usually is because the brat can’t behave, but it’s really just about the power. About someone submitting to him completely, in every aspect. That’s what the hunger wants, that’s what the darkness craves. Unconditional control.

That was the clear defining line that seperated what Taemin wanted from Sungwoon and what he longed for with Jimin. With sungwoon the need to control was shallow, skin-deep, only when Taemin needed it, or when it was  _ fun.  _ And barely ever outside of sexual circumstances. But with Jimin, the need was persistent, in all things, at all times.

Oblivious to the turmoil Taemin’s facing, Jimin gets more and more confident with every second and he becomes intent on proving his worth, determined to put his all into this newfound skill. Even though he's only ever seen blowjobs in porn, and he knows not to trust porn, there's one thing he's seen that he’s willing to bet  _ will _ drive Taemin wild.

He pulls away from Taemin's cock, swirling his tongue inside his mouth, swishing around the saliva that pools behind his teeth. He purses his lips like he's about to blow into a flute, stares at Taemin seductively, commanding his full focus, and lets the string of saliva fall from his lips to the head of Taemin's cock. Taemin whimpers at how fucking filthy Jimin looks, easily imagining his pretty little face coated in spit and tears and cum after being humiliated and degraded.

But Jimin doesn't look used and wrecked right now, he looks anything but. Jimin is 100% in control and he knows it. One side of his mouth curves up into a daring smile before he lowers his head to catch the spit dribbling down Taemin's length, drawing it with his tongue to the tip of his cock before taking him in his mouth again, not once looking away from the man breaking down in front of him.

Taemin feels trapped, the weight of Jimin's stare pinning him back against the chair and making him feel so vulnerable, so defenseless. He _hates_ it. He can’t bear it. He _won’t_ bear it. He feels himself begin to shake, his thoughts becoming foggy and he starts slipping into that dark place. He's moments away from snapping. _Seconds._ But there’s something, a desperation, a deep rooted yearning that keeps him grounded long enough to turn the tables.

He pulls Jimin to his feet by his chin, forcing himself up at the same time and urgently dives in for a kiss, Jimin's lips providing a temporary relief, soothing Taemin's mind. He swings them both round and drops Jimin down to the sofa, forcing him to take Taemin's place.  

“My turn.” Taemin smirks.

He makes quick work of taking off Jimin's clothes, kissing every patch of soft pale skin as it appears, each kiss grounding him a little more until Jimin is completely naked.

_ Phew. _ They're equal.

He takes Jimin's cock in his mouth with no hesitation at all, and lowers himself down until he feels the blunt pressure against the back of his throat. Jimin squirms in pure ecstasy as Taemin flicks his tongue around the base of Jimin's length, tickling the little brown hairs scattered around it. He stays there, like it's no hassle, like he's got no gag reflex at all, and teases his fingers around Jimin's inner thighs, brushing against his balls.

Honestly, he just wants to make Jimin come, to draw this day to an end whilst things are still going well. So he works Jimin's cock with every trick he knows until Jimin's thighs begin to shudder and his toes curl against Taemin's ribs. He's about to pull away, to free his mouth so he could tell Jimin how much he wants to taste him, but he hears Jimin's voice before his own.

“I, I don't want...  _ ah, _ I don't want to come.” Jimin chokes and Taemin eases his mouth off his dick, replacing it with both hands, stroking his length gently to keep him balancing on the edge.

The older doesn't say anything, just dips his head to the side with frustrated, puzzled eyes.

“Hyung, I want you to, I want us to do... you know...” Jimin stammered, unable to verbalise his thoughts, hoping Taemin would fill in the blank. But Taemin just stares at him dumbfounded. There's a million things they could do, if only the boy would let him. Jimin widens his eyes, horrified that he’s got to continue his sentence.

“ _ It.”  _ He whispers.

  
  


And Taemin freezes, deadly still, hearing nothing but the persistent ringing in his ears. 

  
  
  
  


_ Fuck. _

He should be throwing himself at the chance, he should be out of his mind with excitement that he's finally going to fuck Park Jimin. He's only spent the last year dreaming about this moment, about claiming the boy once and for all. He should be the happiest he's ever been.

But he's not. If anything, he's dreading it. Because those daydreams, they didn't look like this. Because the Jimin in his dreams didn't want to  _ do it, _ he wanted to be fucked, hard. He wanted to be humiliated and defiled and abused. The Jimin he'd pictured himself sharing this precious moment with was not the Jimin staring at him with adoration like he wanted to  _ make love. _

_ No _ . He thought he would have more time, to sow the seeds in Jimin's mind. To slowly introduce him to the idea of a little power play, light spanking, a bit of name calling. One day at a time. To teach him about rules, toys, punishments, tools, safewords, limits, all before they ever got to this point. But it was naive, to think Jimin would ever dive head first into the deep end after only dipping his toes in. It would never have worked out that way. But it would have been better than this.

He really thought they were going to make it through this night without crossing this bridge, without Taemin putting himself through the hardest struggle of his life - to be normal.

His mind scrambles with excuses.

“Minnie, we don't have to… there's no rush.” Taemin babbles, praying that Jimin just feels pressured, and that his assurance will change his mind.

But Jimin just shakes his head. “Ever since KBS, I've thought about nothing else. I didn't know how to say it, but I'm ready. I want it to be with you. I trust you.”

_ Well.. shit. _

Jimin may trust him, but he doesn't. He knows what's waiting around the corner, he knows the darkest places his mind can reach, and he knows he's not strong enough tonight, not to pull himself back if he falls down that dark hole.

Taemin's scared, like  _ actually _ scared. And Jimin's staring at him. And if he doesn't go with it, Jimin will think  _ he _ doesn't want to. And Jimin will blame himself. He’ll twist it in to some way of thinking that Taemin’s not attracted to him. He’ll spiral. But it's not his fault.  _ It's yours _ , Taemin' tells himself.  _ Get a grip. _

His fear shifts from not being able to control himself to letting Jimin down. He doesn't want to mess up Jimin's first time. He doesn't want to ruin what should be one of the most memorable experiences of his life.

He has no choice. He can't reject him.   

“Let’s go to my room.” He purrs, leaning in to place a kiss on Jimin’s forehead. And as he leads him down the corridor, he keeps threatening himself, that if he doesn't pull it together, that's it. If he snaps with Jimin's fragile little body in his hands, it's over. He'll be too scared. He'll leave. Gone, forever.

And that fear should be enough to make sure he doesn't fuck this up, or so he hopes, because that fear is all he's got.

He lets Jimin enter his bedroom first, the younger's eyes quickly scanning the room to refamiliarise himself with it's contents before he sits down on the side of the bed, casually palming his still-hard cock. That image alone is enough to break a man. So it's no surprise Taemin is reluctant to even step through the doorway, because once he does, he has to keep his mind focused. He just needs to keep it together until Jimin comes.  _ That’s all. _

With one final sigh, he walks towards the bed.

“Where do you want me?” Jimin asks with the purest of intentions, but it couldn't have come out any sexier if he'd tried.

Taemin uses every muscle in his body to turn away, avoiding the temptation, thinking about the easiest, quickest way to do this.

He bows his head towards the pillows. “On your back.”

They move in unison, Jimin scrambling to lay flat on his back, propping himself up slightly on the cushy silk pillows whilst Taemin climbs to the center of the bed, resting on his knees between thighs.  _ God,  _ Jimin looks so delectable sprawled out underneath him, so willing, so compliant, so bendable,  _ so breakable. _

Taemin leans forward to kiss Jimin’s neck, wrapping his hand around the boy’s cock as his lips graze against his skin. He lifts Jimin’s knees towards his chest with ease until they’re flush against him, the younger's ass now presenting itself, and Taemin discovers a new found appreciation for how flexible Jimin is. It takes everything he has in him to ignore the platter that Jimin is offering, to skip straight to dessert, because the quicker they get through it, the less chances he has to slip up.

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?” Taemin asks between kisses, it’s a stupid question because he knows from the way Jimin’s body is quivering with anticipation, there’s only one answer.

“Yes, yes please.” Jimin almost begs.

_ Ignore it,  _ Taemin urges to himself as he shudders,  _ Just hurry up. _

He reaches over to the bedside table, fumbling around in the drawer until he finds his target. He takes out the bottle of lube, returning to his towering stance over Jimin’s petite body, kissing him as he parts his legs a little wider, squirting a drop of lube onto his finger.

“It’s going to be cold.” Taemin warns, lowering his hand to Jimin’s spread cheeks. When Jimin breathes out in acknowledgement, Taemin lightly rubs the pad of his finger around Jimin’s hole, letting him get used to the icy sensation before it warms to the temperature of Taemin’s finger.

He leans down to kiss Jimin, slowly pushing the tip of his finger inside him as their lips blend together. Jimin moans into the older’s mouth softly, his toes twiddling in the air.

“How’s that?” Taemin asks as their lips part.

“Fine, it’s good. More.” The younger pleads, straining his neck upwards to catch Taemin’s lips again.

Taemin draws the finger out of him slowly and slides it back in. Jimin’s taking him so effortlessly, there’s almost no resistance at all as his second knuckle disappears inside him. It's a lot easier than it should be.

“You’ve done this before.” Taemin guesses, creating a distance between their bodies. But he’s not asking, it’s obvious.

Jimin nods bashfully. “I wanted to be ready.”

“You’re too good to me.” Taemin smiles gratefully, shaking his head. He rocks back to sit on his heels and slips a second finger inside Jimin. It takes a little more force from his wrist this time and the noises escaping Jimin’s lips begin to change. He’s whimpering, mewling, it’s fucking  _ beautiful. _

It’s too much for Taemin. He can’t let himself get too caught up in the sight of Jimin tilting his hips upwards to meet Taemin’s palm, his head rolling on the pillow as he cries out in bliss. Taemin’s not in this for Jimin’s pleasure, not today. This whole thing just needs to move quicker. He guides his fingers deeper inside Jimin, spreading his eager hole, obviously more than he’s ever tried himself and the younger’s mewls turn to gasps. He’s writhing around in Taemin’s grasp, squirming in pleasure until his eyes focus on his now limp cock and he stills. It doesn’t take Taemin more than a second to realise too.

“Don’t worry baby, it happens.” Taemin reassures him, “Do you wanna stop?” ... _ Please?  _ It’s his final appeal, his last chance to give Jimin an escape whilst they’re still both unscathed.

“No, god no, I'm just thinking too much y’know. I'm sorry.” Jimin chokes out, “I want this.”

“Don’t. Don't say sorry.” Taemin protests as he lines himself up with Jimin's hips. “I’m just going to take it slow at first, tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

He guides his himself to Jimin’s entrance, shivering and gritting his teeth as he squeezes lube onto the tip of his cock. He pushes in lightly against Jimin's tight hole, but the boy's too tense, he’s clenching, resisting.

“You’re gonna have to relax.”

“I’m trying” Jimin pipes up, his face scrunching into a small grimace, his nose forming tiny, fine wrinkles. 

Trying to help Jimin unwind, the older trails his fingers along Jimin's dick, gently tickling their way up and down his flaccid shaft. But it's no use, there’s no reaction, he's not getting hard. Taemin squeezes another drop of lube onto his cock and presses gently against Jimin's tense hole again.

“Let me in baby.” Taemin cooes seductively as he inches forward, and Jimin noticeably relaxes at the sound. Mindlessly, Taemin continues.

“That’s it, good boy.”

Jimin’s cock springs to life at the phrase and Taemin’s stomach drops with a mixture of excitement and regret.

_ This is fine. It's fine. It's just praise. Keep going. _

“You’re doing so well Minnie.” he purrs. And as Jimin lets free the breath he’d been caging in, Taemin uses that chance to edge his cock inside him.

Jimin gasps loudly. Taemin catches his open lips in a heated kiss, not moving the rest of his body at all, just letting Jimin adjust to his girth.

Eventually, when Jimin seems to let go of the tension in his lower body, Taemin rolls his hips backwards to give him the room to slide back in. It feels good. It feels  _ really _ good, but the initial feeling of tightness, warmth, he knows it’s only temporary.

Jimin looks so focused, so determined. He’s still thinking too much, grimacing between tiny, tiny moans and he's clearly not letting go. It's frustratingly obvious what he needs.  _ Just a little bit more... _

“You look so good like this baby, so fucking good.” Taemin mutters softly as his hand caresses Jimin’s thigh, distracting him whilst his cock disappears further still. With the praise still freshly drifting into his ears, all Jimin can do is blush as his breathing quickens.

“I don't know how anyone else can keep their hands off you” Taemin continues, leaning in to burrow into Jimin's neck.

“Really?” The younger moans with a bashful smile, gladly beckoning the compliments.

“Mhm, you drive me wild.” Taemin mumbles with a smirk, his lips tickling Jimin's soft skin and suddenly, uncontrollably, Taemin feels a spark, that craving scratching at every nerve in his body...

**_Okay, that's enough._ ** The thought is so loud, so compelling, that he has to double check the words didn't actually come out of his mouth. He peels himself away from the closeness of Jimin's warm neck in attempt to stop himself drifting any further, trying to refocus on the end goal.

He pushes on the back of Jimin’s thighs, forcing his ass up higher to get a better angle. Jimin can't hide his appreciation, his eyes rolling back as Taemin's cock eases further in until he bottoms out. He picks up the speed as Jimin gets used to the feeling, and the boy starts moaning louder and louder as he zones out, and Taemin wants so desperately to cover his mouth with his palm,  _ or stuff it with his fist,  _ but he can do nothing but sigh in frustration.

He can barely believe it's real. That he's fucking Jimin at all. Kissing Jimin at all. The whole last month seem like a dream that will be cruelty ripped away from him when he eventually wakes up. And now the focus of his dreams is laying underneath him, so mouth-wateringly seductive, staring at him with lust in his eyes whilst he's fucking him for the first time, his first time.

...But there’s still something missing, he can't deny that, no matter how much his body is responding, no matter how much he's savoring the clenching of Jimin's tight hole around him, his mind just isn't in it. And his hands are scarcely touching him, applying so little pressure like he's made of glass.

He tries to reminded himself that this is everything he's ever wanted, that the positives outweigh the negatives, but his mind doesn't want to be convinced. It's too gentle, too timid. And now he’s the one thinking too much, his mind racing with 'what if’ questions. He knows he won’t be able to get off like this. He’s not in the right headspace, he’s not playing the part he wants to play. But tonight isn’t about him. It’s okay. They’ll make it work eventually. They just need to get past this initial stage, until Jimin’s willing to try.  _ If _ Jimin’s willing to try.

After no time at all, Taemin realises he’s drifted too far from arousal and he’s starting to go soft. But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter, because he just needs to get Jimin to the edge.

He slows down his thrusts and wraps his palm around Jimin's cock. The younger is so sensitive to the touch, his whole body starts shaking as Taemin's fingers surround him. The simultaneous feeling of a firm grip around his cock and the almost torturously slow thrusting inside him, teasing him beyond his limit, it's about as much as he can take.

“I’m,  _ ah, _ I'm gonna.. hyung, please...” Jimin can hardly string the sentence together, but he reaches the end just as his cock starts to pulse, painting ribbons of cum over his chest, panting feebly as he comes down from his high.

“God, you look so fucking beautiful right now.” Taemin swoons.

He pulls out before it becomes uncomfortable for Jimin, arching further over the younger’s limp body and starts stroking himself until he’s hard again. This, this unforgettable image of Jimin looking so fuked out underneath him, covered in his own cum,  _ this _ would be a waste not to take advantage of. He hooks his hand behind Jimin’s head, pulling the boy up a little, which is exceptionally easy since Jimin has turned into somewhat of a ragdoll since Taemin pulled out. He lines his cock up with Jimin’s mouth, rubbing the tip against the plump center of his bottom lip, but doesn’t even try to nudge his way in, just letting the pre-cum glide over Jimin’s lips with every stroke.

His mind wanders, imagining Jimin with that blindfold on again, that red strip of fabric from the Boy Meet Evil/Lie stage at MAMA. He imagines Jimin begging for his cum, tears trickling down from behind the blindfold, pooling around the head of his cock. He forgets momentarily that it’s only wishful thinking and his orgasm creeps up on him before he’s even really registered it.

He’s almost caught by surprise as he feels the rush of warmth filling his cock and his cum decorates Jimin’s pretty face. Unable to resist, he smears it over his mouth and cheeks, using his middle finger to force a little into the younger’s mouth. Jimin moans appreciatively, but then quickly scowls at the taste.

“You’ll get used to it baby boy.” Taemin teases, leaning into kiss Jimin's cum-soaked lips.

“Fuck.” Jimin whispers, pulling away, “Wait, that’s.. yours.” he blurts out, looking somewhat grossed out but mildly impressed. 

Taemin just laughs, his weightless shoulders shaking with each chuckle. He did it.  _ They _ did it. They made it through, together. He feels so weightless, free from the worry of losing control, finally able to let go of the tension inside him. And it wasn't that bad, he could get used to it, he could learn to like it. Maybe? And with that hopeful thought in mind, he can say with sincerity...  

“Nothing would stop me kissing you right now.”

\-----------------------

It’s just after midnight and everything seems so eerily quiet. Jimin is fast asleep, curled up in the duvet and breathing softly. If it wasn’t for the gentle rise and fall of the plush fabric, you’d think the scene was a picture, a photograph, because everything else was so still. Including Taemin. He’s staring at the ceiling blankly, his expression so empty like there’s nothing behind his eyes. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. His mind has been racing all night.

After they’d cleaned Jimin up, they both changed into some of Taemin’s ‘lazy’ clothes, ordered takeaway and snuggled back up on the sofa, finishing off the last hour of the movie. Jimin fell asleep shortly after, looking so peaceful and serene that Taemin didn’t want to wake him so he carried him to bed. And for a while, Taemin just lay on his side, watching Jimin sleep, coming to terms with reality, this reality, that Jimin was actually now his. He was really there, not just a picture on his phone, not just a thought in his mind, he was really, physically there. But it was hard to appreciate the thought when the whole thing was so conflicting. Jimin was literally so close, just a hand’s length away, yet still so far away from what Taemin needed him to be. How long could they live this before it inevitably falls apart? How long could Taemin tell himself that he was happy doing things Jimin’s way?

It’s those thoughts that have kept him awake until now. Those thoughts and that flashing light at the top of his phone that he's been ignoring for the last 20 minutes. He knows what it is. Who it is. He shouldn't even look. Why bother? Why even entertain him.

It takes another 20 seconds for him to cave.

**Ha Sungwoon:** Hyuuuuuung, It’s technically morning. Will you play with me now?

_ Brat. _

He opens the selfie sent with the message and almost forgets how to breathe. It’s a shot of Sungwoon in bed, naked, the duvet pulled up just above his crotch, showing every line, curve and shadow on his torso. He’s staring at the camera with big, innocent eyes, a look he’s perfected so well. He knows just how to get his hyung’s attention and it’s working, it’s impossible for Taemin to ignore the fact that Sungwoon looks exactly like  _ that _ , right now, just a drive away. How he’s laying there waiting for some kind of response, some kind of command, so easily ready for whatever Taemin wants.

Taemin glances at the delicate boy sleeping next to him and shakes his head with a gentle laugh, accepting the cruel fate he’s brought upon himself. His mind automatically starts drawing the parallels between the two of them, comparing them, realising how different they really are. They're polar opposites, Jimin so loving and fragile, Sungwoon so needy and masochistic. In a way, they make the perfect pair.

If Taemin were a better man, he would ignore Sungwoon's text. But he’s not. And he replies almost too eagerly.

**Lee Taemin:** Aw sorry Woonie, I've already had my fun for the day

He can’t hold back his smirk as he finishes typing, his taunting tone so clear even through text. But it doesn’t have the full effect on it’s own, he needs to send Sungwoon something that will give him a taste of his own medicine. He snaps a selfie instantly, no shuffling around to get a better angle, no quick check in the mirror to make sure his hair looks right, because Taemin knows he looks just as irresistible bare faced with unruly hair as he does in full stage makeup. He takes it, topless as he is, with his wicked smirk and just a touch of Jimin’s hair visible on the pillow beside him. Nobody else would ever be able to tell who it is, if they’d even pick up on that tiny detail at all. But Sungwoon... Sungwoon will know.

It takes all of ten seconds for Sungwoon to receive, open and digest the image in front of him.

**Ha Sungwoon:** God, what I would do to be laying in between you two right now

_ Ha. Never. _

**Lee Taemin:** Keep dreaming sweetie.

‘Sweetie’ _.  _ That’s a new one, and it felt kinda forced to type, but Taemin didn’t feel right calling Sungwoon ‘baby’ anymore, no, that name was reserved for Jimin now.

**Ha Sungwoon:** Oh I will ;) Obviously he wasn’t everything you hoped he’d be.

_ Typical.  _ It’s so frustrating for Taemin, how much Sungwoon knows, how he’s able to confirm what you’re thinking without even asking, how he knows exactly what you need. It’s a certain type of power that only Sungwoon can have over Taemin, and it’s not reversible, no matter how much Taemin tries, because Sungwoon only ever gives away what he wants him to know. He’s  _ nearly _ always in control of the way he’s perceived by others and it almost makes Taemin jealous.

Sungwoon will probably claim it’s obvious from the distance between the two of them, or there’s probably some hint in the older’s eyes that’s sending subliminal messages to him through his phone screen. Or maybe it’s because Jimin’s asleep,  _ and not riding his dick _ , and in reality, that’s incomprehensible for Sungwoon since Taemin usually has such an appetite. Or maybe they’re so in tune that he can see deep into Taemin’s soul, past the facade, and he can just tell that he’s not satisfied. Either way, he’d never admit it, not when he can’t even admit it to himself.

**Lee Taemin:** I'll let you think that if it makes you feel better

**Ha Sungwoon:** Well why else are you still texting me? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my original plan for this fic was that Sungwoon was only going to present to start with and then their FWB type situ would end because Taemin was only using him whilst he was ‘waiting’ for Jimin (as the initial description suggests). But the more I am writing and planning ahead, every avenue my mind goes down ends up with Sungwoon being involved and i’m almost reaching the point where I can’t write any more without making this decision because i’ll have to sow the Sungwoon seeds in the next chapter. I really, really don’t want to disappoint anybody by going down that route buuuut I wouldn't be able to keep writing it if it wasn't the story I wanted. So it’s the direction I’m going to go. And there is my advanced warning... hopefully you will still enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm sorry this took so long. Life just got in the way :(
> 
> (The party takes place just before Kai's birthday. I know Taemin was already in Japan then but let's just pretend he leaves after chapter 10)

When the morning light welcomes Taemin from his sleep, it takes him a second to recall what happened the night before, for his body to feel the heat radiating from the slightly smaller figure laying beside him, for his brain to register the faint sound of air passing through Jimin’s nostrils.

The clock on the wall tells him it’s just past 8:45am, a mere 15 minutes before the time he promised Jimin he would wake him. The younger was adamant he wanted them to have a full breakfast and shower together before he had to leave at 11am, but Taemin found himself enamoured by how graceful Jimin looked when he slept, how peaceful he seemed surrounded by the thick white duvet, the sun streaking across his face through the crack in the blind, and he just couldn't bring himself to wake him.

He leaves his side briefly to make coffee and returns to watch him, cup in one hand and phone in the other. He's quite content observing him, drinking him in. Just being in his presence when he looks so ethereal is the most calming thing Taemin has ever felt and he hopes, he desperately hopes, that he could always feel as warm-hearted and humane as he does right now.

After swallowing the final remnants of coffee, he lays his cup down silently and tiptoes towards the bed.  _ God you're beautiful. _ He muses over the sight in front of him, a sight he could look at forever. He doesn't hesitate to take a picture, to capture the moment for eternity, saving it to his  _ Jimin folder  _ before sliding back into place beside him, pressing his chest against the boy's warm back. He could have sworn he was still wearing clothes,  _ his _ clothes, when he carried him to bed last night, but they must have been discarded during the heat of night because with a quick peek under the quilt, his suspicions were confirmed.

He stops dead in his tracks as Jimin stirs against him, shuffling his feet against Taemin's leg and groaning in his sleepy state, but Jimin doesn't wake up, not fully, so Taemin sinks himself down to the mattress and wraps his arm around Jimin's pert waist. Aware or not, Jimin pulls Taemin's arm further around him, bringing his knees up to his chest to make himself as small as possible before nuzzling back into Taemin's chest.

Taemin wasn't used to it, this level of intimacy for no real reason. He didn't usually hug without intent, he never  _ cuddled _ . In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd woken up next to someone who he actually wanted in his bed. That wasn't to say he didn't appreciate when Sungwoon would make himself at home after a long night, but Taemin only allowed it because it was only fair, after everything he would do and say to him, the least Taemin could do was let him stay, to take care of him until he slept. But not once had he ever wanted to wrap himself around him like this.

With a mind of their own, Taemin's fingers start stroking Jimin's abdomen, exploring every inch of soft skin they can reach. Jimin hums in appreciation, encouragingly so, until Taemin's fingers come to a stop, tickling the soft, curled hairs underneath them.  There's a tiny little smile pulling through Jimin's lips, even though he hasn't opened his eyes once, it's obvious he's awake enough to like where this is heading.

Fueled by the desire to please, to make up for thinking only of himself and his selfish need to rush through last night, Taemin savours every second that his fingers traverse over Jimin's sleeping cock, caressing him until he's hard and filling the older's fist.

Jimin rolls onto his back with a sleepy stretch and nestles his face into the older's neck, whining quietly as his cushioned bottom lip drags along Taemin's jaw. But still, his eyes are tightly closed.

They're still closed when Taemin nibbles on the lobe of his ear, whispering sweet nothings with every jerk of his cock. And when Taemin pulls the duvet off Jimin's naked body to get a better view, the younger merely flinches at the sudden change in temperature, moaning lightly as his orgasm builds. Even when Jimin's pleasure peaks, strings of thick, warm cum slowly dripping onto his stomach, his eyes stay tightly shut.

It’s Taemin who leans in for a kiss first, surprised by his own yearning for a more intimate connection, his own need for some kind of affection. _ Who am I?  _ he muses with a smile, his mouth still parted slightly as he meets Jimin’s unexpecting lips.

Jimin opens his mouth with a low moan, Taemin’s warm tongue curling and twisting against his own, blending his morning breath and the aftertaste of burnt coffee on the older’s tongue. Neither complain.

It’s only when Teamin breaks the kiss, with the sudden loss of warmth against his mouth, that Jimin’s eyes blink open.

“Hi.” Taemin utters with a charming raspiness in his throat.

“Hi.” The younger giggles softly in his dozy state as his eyes start to adjust to the breathtaking man staring down at him. He brushes the back of his fingers against Taemin's morning stubble, studying each blunt stub of hair in detail. “I didn't want to open my eyes in case I was dreaming.”

“I'm the one who's dreaming." Taemin purrs, placing another soft kiss on the edge of Jimin's mouth before propping himself up on his elbows to block Jimin's view of the clock, “I'm sorry for waking you."

"You're not." Jimin laughs as he rubs his eyes.

"You're right, I'm not. Why don't you get a little more sleep and let me take care of this, hm?”

Jimin nods with the little strength his neck has first thing in the morning and his head lulls back to the side gratefully. Taemin cleans him up without another word and sets his alarm for 10:30am. Yes, Jimin will be mad at him for letting them fall back to sleep, but it's worth it for Taemin if it means he can spend another hour with the light of his life in his arms.

Jimin doesn't move when Taemin slinks back into bed, kissing the back of the boy's head as he fits so easily into his newly favourite position of big spoon. It's amazing how quickly Jimin can doze off, Taemin thinks as the muscles in his own body begin to relax, but Jimin's not asleep yet, and that only becomes clear when three airy little words break the silence.

“I love you.” Jimin mutters into the pillow with the same trailing energy as a leaf in the breeze, that same energy Taemin had heard the night Jimin had urged Taemin not to stop before slipping into a drunken stupor after one too many drinks at the bar...

It's that memory that stops Taemin's heart from skipping too many beats, because he knows Jimin's not really  _ with it _ right now, and it's not unheard of for someone to profess their love in a post-orgasm haze. So he tries not to focus on those three words too much, smiling to himself until he falls asleep.

\-----------------------

_ TZZZZ. _

Taemin’s phone vibrates in his front pocket, buzzing violently against the back of Jimin’s bare thigh, and they both jolt awake. Knowing Jimin's short on time, Taemin tries to coax him out of bed but the younger just wants to stay and snuggle.

“How are you feeling?” Taemin asks, trying to jumpstart Jimin's brain.  

“Good. Happy.” The younger blushes, “Thanks for my morning treat.”

“And…” Taemin trails off, his eyes glancing towards Jimin’s lower half.

“A little sore, but I’m okay.” Jimin reassures him, chewing on his bottom lip. “What time is it?” He groans groggily, raising his arms above his head.

“11:32..”

Jimin sighs but his eyes don’t look any less loving than they did a second ago.

“It was worth it, huh?” Taemin winks and cups Jimin’s face, laying a gentle peck on top of his protruding, precious little pout.

Taemin makes a quick breakfast whilst Jimin showers, giving them a few minutes to sit and figure out how much they’ll be able to talk over the next week before Jongin and Timoteo's joint pre-birthday get together. A week seems a whole lot longer now than it used to, all Taemin wants is to spend every waking, and sleeping, hour beside Jimin. It’ll feel like a lifetime without hearing his chirpy squeals and babyish whining. But he can’t deny there’s a tiny bit of relief growing in the back of his mind, because at least he can’t hurt him from afar.

“I’m going to miss you,” Jimin croons as they trudge towards the front door, verbalising the thoughts in Taemin’s head.

“Me too baby.” Taemin sighs, holding onto Jimin until the younger physically peels himself away. They linger in the doorway, and Taemin thinks Jimin might say something, something short and sweet, something he’s already heard once this morning... but it never comes, because Jimin suddenly becomes shy, staring at his feet until his phone starts ringing.

“Bye.” Jimin mouths, sadness clouding over his face as he brings the phone to his ear. And when the door finally closes behind him, Taemin sinks down onto the sofa, staring blankly ahead.

It’s going to be a long week.

\-----------------------

He was right.

Jimin had been, for lack of a better word, unattainable. He'd completely underestimated his schedule and between recording for their new album, dance practice, rehearsals, photoshoots and meetings, he'd barely found more than a few dedicated hours to talk to Taemin, to arrange their plans for Taemin to pick him up en route to Timoteo and Jongin's party and for Jimin to stay at Taemin's afterwards. It was understandable, Jimin and his members were becoming more popular every day, growing in high demand and everyone seems to be getting a piece of Jimin, everyone except Taemin.

Frustrated would be an understatement. Taemin had lost count how many days had past past since he’d really been satisfied,  _ really  _ satisfied, how long it’d been since he’d let his hair down with…  _ no.  _ He tried all week to think of Jimin and Jimin alone, but it was easier said than done, and the hunger inside him only grew with each passing day. The lust, the desire consumed him, building and building with no way to subdue it.

So the moment the car door closes behind Jimin, the older snaps, one hand pinning the boy's chest against the seat, the other twisting in his blonde locks, holding him in place as he unleashes his attack. They don't even exchange greetings before his lips latch on to Jimin’s.  

“It's only been a week..” Jimin whines between kisses, pretending to be annoyed.

“Seven days too long.” Taemin growls against Jimin's mouth, dragging his teeth across the soft fleshy pad of his lower lip. “I can't function without you.” he confesses, but it's not  _ quite _ Jimin he can't function without.

He gets losts, forgetting who is in his grasp, devouring Jimin with every fibre of his being. His grip tightens on the soft tufts of hair in his fist, his body pulling towards the younger’s uncontrollably, the handbrake digging into his thigh so hard it's contemplating a bruise. When a soft groan emits from the back of Jimin’s throat, Taemin interprets it as permission to keep going, to go further, and he barely has the strength to restrain himself.

He maneuvers his left leg over Jimin’s thigh, it’s awkward, the handbrake now prodding into his crotch, stopping him from mounting him fully. _ It’s not enough. _ He threads his free hand into the gap between Jimin’s shirt buttons, gliding his palm across Jimin’s bare chest, stretching his collar wider to reveal his collarbone.  _ It’s too tempting. _ Taemin bites down, growling at the flesh between his teeth.

“Stop me...” Taemin pleas against Jimin’s skin, his wrist trembling as his hand slides round to the front of Jimin’s neck, his thumb delicately stroking his Adam’s apple, “...or you won't make it there in one piece.”

Jimin giggles lightly, taking Taemin's threat as playfulness, savouring the feeling of the older's hands and mouth a fraction longer before pushing him back onto his seat, with more force than anticipated, making a show of clicking the Taemin's seat belt back into place. But as he pulls his hand away, he grazes the fabric surrounding Taemin’s thigh and softly clears his throat.

“I don’t mind being a little late…” Jimin allures, full of guileless courage.

_ Fuck. Now’s not the time to be daring. _

“Don't. Tempt. Me.” Taemin chokes out in staggered groans, rolling his head back as Jimin's fingers walk over the fabric towards his groin, his vision blurring, thoughts muddying, an impulse rising...

“Jimin. Seriously... youhavetostop.”

There’s a pained look on Taemin’s face that instantly makes Jimin’s heart drop. He’s breathing heavily, his fists balled together so tightly his veins are popping out of his forearms, arms hovering inches away from Jimin’s reach. This is restraint. 

“oh. 'kay..” Jimin mutters quietly, falling back into his chair.

It takes a second for Taemin's hands to unfurl, white marks lingering with shame where his fingers had pressed against his palm so hard he'd starved the capillaries of blood.

“Baby, I'm sorry. I really have no willpower around you.” Taemin sighs, gripping his fingers around the steering wheel. "And we're already late. What kind of friends are we."

Jmin nods, hearing only the subliminal compliment, and smiles towards his feet

\-----------------------

By the time they arrive, everyone else has settled in and the night is already underway. Kai was going to be spending his actual birthday with fans, and everyone was going to be out the country, promoting or on tour during Timoteo’s birthday, so this little pre-birthday get together was the last time Taemin was going to see everyone for months.

He'd thought long and hard about how it would feel now, spending time with Jimin and Sungwoon together. His dark and his light.  _ His yin and his yang.  _ Smug? Frustrated? No, walking through the door the only thing he felt was anxiety, ultimately terrified that having them both in a room would be a recipe for disaster.

They'd planned to do the usual tonight, drink, play games, have fun. But Taemin didn't want to drink, he had to have a clear head around Jimin and Sungwoon.  _ Especially _ Sungwoon. If you take your eyes off him for a second he'll find a way to cause trouble. And that's the danger. There's no way Taemin can predict how the evening is going to go, it's risky, uncertain and that's not the kind of hand Taemin likes to play.

As soon as they walk through the door, he feels the pull of Sungwoon’s presence, actively trying ignore it, to discard the watchful eyes flicking between him and Jimin, looking for subtle signs and subliminal gestures. When Sungwoon finally stands up to greet them, it couldn’t be more disingenuous.

“Stuck in traffic?” He quizzes.

“Hmm.” Taemin groans with apathy, not even extending Sungwoon the courtesy of eye contact, instead looking round the room for Timoteo. “Took a while to for us to leave- Ahhh Moon... ”

Jimin’s eyes trace Taemin’s steps as the older walks away to greet Timoteo, admiring him lovingly until he realises he's still staring and Sungwoon is watching him.

"Chim.. you good?"

"Huh? Yeah ‘course. Ah hyung- come here." Jimin beams, pulling Sungwoon into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you."

"I missed you too.” Sungwoon croons, and as they seperate, Sungwoon’s arm stays firmly planted around Jimin’s shoulder, the other hand flattening a crease of fabric across his stomach. “I feel like we never talk anymore. You'd tell me if you weren't okay wouldn't you? If someone hurt you or... did something you didn't like?"

Sungwoon does a compelling job of sounding like a caring friend. Not that he doesn’t care, he does, he cares about Jimin more than most people, but right now he’s just fishing for information.

"Ah hyung, you know I would. What's got in to you?"

"Nah it's nothing. Let's get you a drink _"_

Over the last week, Taemin had talked to Sungwoon just enough to keep the younger happy,  _ and maybe himself, _ but despite Sungwoon's persistent badgering, Taemin didn’t let a single thing about Jimin slip. There was no way he would give Sungwoon the satisfaction of knowing any more about the ins and outs of their activities... or lack thereof.

He’d felt guilty when he saw Sungwoon's name pop up on his screen, so he hadn't encouraged him, but he hadn't exactly dissuaded him either. He didn't ignore him when he begged for attention, didn't tell him to stop when he sent enticing half-naked pictures, didn't hang up when he called and teased Taemin with the sounds of wet skin on skin and promises of fulfilling his darkest dreams…

The whole time he told himself he was just sustaining himself until Jimin got back. Then it would really be the end of him and Sungwoon for good. Their whatevership had only ever been about the sex. They were friends before it and they will be friends after it, that's what he always thought. That when the time came and they stopped what they were doing, it would be natural and mutual and fine _ ,  _ because Taemin wouldn't miss it.. he wouldn't miss it with  _ him.  _ Because it could be anyone, it just happened to be Sungwoon. The who didn't matter, it was just the what. Until Jimin came along. And then it was only Jimin. And Sungwoon looked just like Jimin. And now he has Jimin. So he doesn't need Sungwoon. 

  
  
  


...He still needs Sungwoon.

\-----------------------

Somehow, in their slightly inebriated state, Jimin and Jongin had succumbed to the peer pressure of their friends and had spent the last five minutes dancing to girl group songs, with oversexualised gestures and playful adlibs pandering to the laughter and wolf-whistles of their audience. But in amongst the lively crowd, Taemin sat quietly, painfully sober, watching Jimin intently like they were the only two people in the room. Seeing Jimin let his hair down so freely was one of Taemin’s favourite things, but he suppressed his amusement out of fear of letting too much show, instead listening to the guys tease Jongin as the pair returned to their seats.

When Jimin flumps down onto the couch next to Sungwoon, he waits for praise that never comes.

“What about me?” Jimin asks sheepishly, to noone in particular, canvassing for compliments.

“You were perfect, as always.” Sungwoon reassures him with a wink, rustling his hair affectionately, and Jimin’s smile ignites with the warmth of the compliment.

Taemin’s happiness dwindles as soon as he catches Sungwoon's eyes linger an extra few seconds on Jimin's profile, subtly flicking down to glance at his inviting lips as his hand leaves his hair and runs down his back.

He'd seen it before, a million times, the way Sungwoon and Jimin would get wrapped up in eachother, a little too close for comfort, but now he had to add jealousy into the mix, and the threat of Sungwoon getting too loose-lipped, and how easily manipulated Jimin could be if Sungwoon did say something. Who would Jimin side with if Sungwoon spun some kind of unfavourable tale? The truth is Jimin is closer with Sungwoon than Taemin, and that truth hurts.

For now, Taemin has to endure Sungwoon's blatant flirting with Jimin. It would be much more bearable if Jimin wasn't also trying his hardest to ignore Taemin, something he was doing almost too well. They'd agreed before they stepped foot in the building to distance themselves from each other to make sure their secret remained a secret all night. But they weren't really  _ meant  _ to ignore each other, and no matter how drunk Jimin might be, he must know that he would be watching him. And Sungwoon, well, Taemin's almost certain that Sungwoon is relying on that fact.

\-----------------------

As the night grows on, the guys have taken to watching old pre-debut videos and training logs, because what else is funnier than reviving embarrassing moments, regrettable haircuts and god-awful outfits. Taemin, who had long since vowed not to let his irritation show, hadn't looked in Jimin and Sungwoon's direction once in the last hour, and was feeling a hell of a lot better for it.

“Oh wait!” Taemin shouts as jumps to his feet before Jongin presses play on the first of the videos, “I've got something for you. I’ll grab my laptop, start without me.”

The excitement on his face was unmistakable, almost out-of-character. He's glowing with a devious aura that prompts a collective “oh no” from everyone sat around. It was only a compilation video he'd made of Jongin and Timoteo's cringiest moments, including footage no one else had seen before. Editing it was one of the activities he'd indulged in over the last few days to stop him from counting down the hours until he saw Jimin again, but it was going to make everyone howl, he was sure of it.

On his way out the room, the undeniable voice of Ha Sungwoon calls behind him. “Wait up hyung, I need some fresh air.”

Taemin shoots him a dirty look, a 'sit the fuck back down or else’ kind of look. He can't trust himself to be alone with Sungwoon. Not here. Not now. Not when he's been such a brat all night. But the boy is one too many drinks in to read the intensity intended in Taemin's stare, or he just purposefully ignores it, and if the older does anything else it'll cause a scene, so they both head outside with a subtle hostility.

Forever the silent observer, Jimin caught it all. And as the video starts playing, he fades out, racking his brain for anything that might have seemed a little out of the ordinary between the two of them this evening. But he'd been too worried about slipping up or outing his and Taemin’s secret that he’d barely paid the older any attention at all, to the point where he couldn’t even remember if Sungwoon and Taemin had really acknowledged each other when they arrived. And now he’s thinking about it, Taemin had been ignoring Sungwoon the week before, Sungwoon had resorted to calling _him_ to find out where he was.

A cackle erupted around him, Timoteo curling into Jimin's side with laughter at the moment Jongin had paused the video, leaving an unflattering still of 14 year old Taemin on the screen. Jimin, who'd almost forgotten about the video altogether, forces a laugh, but his eyes don't squish together with their usual authenticity, his teeth barely showing in his smile.

He can’t seem to shake the feeling that he doesn’t know something, that there’s something wrong with Sungwoon and Taemin, a reason why Sungwoon felt the need to impose on Taemin's trip to the car. He's concerned about his friends, that's all. Curious. And a little drunk. He hates when there's conflict in the group, especially when he doesn't know why. And it's only been about 40 seconds, he could easily go and catch up with them and...  _ help? _

So he excuses himself and heads out into the cold night. He can just about see Taemin's car from the doorway, he remembers distinctly where they parked, where they'd snuck their last kiss, but his hyungs aren't there. In fact, he can almost see across the whole lot and there's no movement at all. There's enough light from the surrounding street lights that he would be able to see them, surely.

He shuffles down the pathway, passing the building on his left that's blocking the far end of the lot from view. He moves so hesitantly, like something might jump out at him from behind the corner. Not that he's afraid of the dark, but he can't shake the weird feeling that’s making his hairs stand on end.  _ Where are they? _

He turns the corner, immediately blinded by the streetlight just a meter away, but when he blinks his vision back into focus, he makes out two figures against the wall and quickly steps back out of view. They're standing so close together, blending into one dark mass that Jimin can't really distinguish. Talking maybe? Kissing?

_ Wait. _

Jimin’s spine crawls with a prickly heat, an incessant warning, a voice in his ear whispering uninvited thoughts.

He peers round the corner again, creeping further out into the open, squinting his eyes so his mind can discard everything else around him. 

 

And that's the moment his heart breaks.

It's Taemin.

Sungwoon.

They're kissing. Not just kissing, clinging to each other for dear life. Taemin's hands furiously clawing at Sungwoon's hips, pulling them closer together, the back of Sungwoon's head bouncing off the wall as the eagerness of Taemin's kiss overpowers his stability.

Taemin is kissing someone else. Sungwoon. _ Kissing. _

Jimin stands frozen in place, his muscles so unresponsive that he couldn't move if he tried, his jaw unwillingly dropping further towards the ground with every second. But he can't feel anything, not the cold breeze against the back of his neck. He doesn't know why he's not moving. He's just stuck.

He must stick out like a sore thumb, he thinks, illuminated by the bright light above him. They'll notice him out the corner of their eyes, intruding on their private moment, gawking blankly. But they're so lost in eachother they can't even see him. They don't even notice him when they break apart and Taemin starts walking towards his car. Or when Sungwoon shouts after him.

“I knew he wouldn't be enough for you.”

_ Huh? _

Taemin stops on the spot, storming back towards Sungwoon. Jimin's stomach churns, surely now, now Taemin will see him. Taemin will see him and run towards him and break him out of the spell he's under… and none of it will be real, right? This isn’t real. Because what he just saw, what he caught  _ his  _ Taemin doing… it must be a dream. He dozed off, one too many shots, and he was so tired before he even got here. It makes sense, explains why he can't move, why they can't see him. It's not real.

It can't be real. And now that he's figured out he's dreaming, he'll wake up. That's how it works.

But he doesn't, and the sequence keeps playing out in front of him.

Teamin charges towards Sungwoon with a hunger in his eyes that even Jimin can see from his distance. The older pins Sungwoon against the wall by his throat, provoking a  _ welp  _ as the younger’s head thuds against the hard surface behind him. Instinctively, Jimin’s brain tells him to lunge forward, to help him, to break it up, but there's something conflicting with his virtuous nature, something still holding him in place.

When he looks back at his best friends face, he doesn’t seem to be in pain. If anything, it looks like he’s  _ grinning.  _ It could be a grimace, it’s hard to tell from so far away, maybe his face is contorting as his airways squeeze shut, but he’s not flailing, he’s not trying to break free. He’s just accepting it.  

And Taemin’s encroaching right up in his face, their noses pressed together as Taemin mouth moves, his lips peeling back over his teeth with a snarl, but Jimin can’t hear what he’s saying.  What he’s doing.  _ With Sungwoon. _

With a twist of his gut, Jimin snaps out of his trance and the floodgates open.

Tripping over his own feet, he stumbles back towards the house, choking on his tears as his lungs gasp for air, struggling to keep up with the pace of his strides. He bolts through the front door, towards the staircase, collapsing on the bottom step like a ragdoll.

For a moment, he just sits there, clutching his knees against his chest, holding himself together in a tight little package to stop himself from falling apart. His tears pool little wet patches on his jeans, his eyes blurring behind the shield of water as he tries to process what he’s just witnessed, to digest the unthinkable, the man he loves kissing their best friend... and then choking him? It makes less sense the 20th time he runs through it in his head. He clings to his knees tighter as he feels a twinging ache inside him as if his organs are being yanked from his body.  _ They don't care about you at all.   _

Fast approaching footsteps break through his thoughts and he hurries up the stairs, claiming sanctuary on the bathroom floor. As he hears a faint “What took you guys so long?” through the floorboards, he breaks down again.

_ They lied to you.  _ He falls deeper.  _ You deserve this. _

He chokes on his inhale, his throat closing around the imaginary obstacle as he forgets how to breathe, clawing at his shirt as he gulps for air. He shakes his head as he panics, desperately trying to stop the oncoming attack but the frantic swaying only amplifies the sound of blood passing through his ears, the pressure filling his head. Kicking his feet against the tiled floor, he scrambles back against the wall to steady himself, to fight off the wariness that warns him he's feeling fainter by the second..

At this point, there’s only one thing powerful enough that can pull him back, a memory resurfacing that he’s not even trying to remember, that he's not strong enough to ignore.

_ Listen to me. Deep breaths. _

The recollection of Taemin’s soothing voice melts through his hysteria, clearer than it had been on the phone that night, giving him the clarity he needs to take the first of many deep breaths.

_ That’s it, nice and slow. _

The thumping in his ear fades, letting him tune into the faint waves of air passing through his lips as his lungs deflate and refill in time with the rise and fall of his chest and the harrowing feeling of his rib cage drawing inwards starts diminishing with each breath.

_ Good boy. _

The words dispense like a drug, freeing his mind, relinquishing his ability to worry at all. He becomes weightless as he focuses on the words echoing around his head, the lingering muscle twitches ceasing and his sweaty palms drying.   

In an act of normality, he threads his fingers through his hair, letting his head lull back against the wall. He's safe.

Hoseok had once told him there'd be a day when he was strong enough to control his own mind, to switch the lights back on when things got dark, and technically, this would be that day. The day he finally quashed the merciless voices inside his head, calmed himself down in the midst of a panic attack. But does it really count if you're using someone else's voice?

The disappointment sets in. How could he be so weak that he lets Taemin win _ , _ proving to himself that he needs him, even now. It's pathetic, he acknowledges resentfully, but everyone needs a crutch. Would he still be hyperventilating on the floor if it wasn't for Taemin's influence? He realises how stupid the thought is before he finishes it.  _ You wouldn't be here in the first place if it wasn't for him. _

After a few minutes of regrounding himself, he wobbles unsteadily to his feet and ventures to sink, hands gripping either side of the basin to keep himself upright.

He knows he can’t be alone when he’s like this, because it's not over yet, not really. He needs people around him, smiling, laughing, thriving, anything to distract him until he settles. But that means seeing Taemin, and Sungwoon _ ,  _ together…

But he can't cause a scene, he'd be outing him and his two _ …  _ the two of them in the process. No. He can keep it together, he has to, just for a few hours until he's in a better frame of mind and he'll get a taxi back to the dorm. Then Hoseok will get back from the studio in the early hours and he'll hold him until he falls asleep, just like the trainee days. 

He splashes his face to wash away the hardened crust of tears, the cool, refreshing water giving him the final confidence he needs to head back downstairs.

As he enters the living room, his eyes lock briefly with Taemin's before he falters, faking a yawn and rubbing at his eyes to account for the puffiness. Taemin stands up, patting at the younger's shoulder and smiling warmly, oblivious that Jimin saw, or knows, anything more than he did an hour ago. Temporarily blinded by the admiration in Taemin's eyes, Jimin just lets it happen, surrendering to the brief comfort the touch gives him.

And it is brief. 

The second he spots Sungwoon sprawled out on the sofa opposite, his stomach drops. He looks so high and mighty, so pleased with himself, so fucking cocky. And now Jimin knows why.  _ Is this how he always looks? _

When their eyes meet, Sungwoon’s face settles into an intimidating stare, something unreadable residing in his gaze.. and he winks. He fucking winks and he laughs because he thinks he knows something Jimin doesn't and he loves it.

Jimin jerks away from Taemin instantly as if the older’s skin had suddenly turned to molten lava. It's excruciating how much effort it takes not to burst into tears or start shouting at either of them, but he can't,  _ as if he'd even have the balls to,  _ so he storms over to a lone dining chair, looking anywhere but Taemin’s concerned expression, berating himself for being such a pushover.

And for the rest of the night, that’s where Jimin stays. He looks at nothing, noone, spaced out but anchored by the liveliness of the room. He doesn’t laugh, or even smile, just stares off into blank space, biting his nails, blinking only when his eyes begin to sting.

No-one pays him any attention bar an initial scrupulous glance or two, because sometimes Jimin just  _ gets like this _ . No-one talks about it, but they know, just how brittle Jimin’s mind can be, the torment he puts himself though. They’ve all learned one way or another that it’s better to leave him alone until he’s ready to talk about it, not to push him too far, not to offer him any advice, not to draw attention to his insecurities or to reassure him of his mistakes. Just to let him get it out of his system, whatever the cause. For better or worse, this is the way he copes.

So nobody looks his way when Taemin lingers next to him for a moment as he makes his way to the kitchen, pulling the boy’s face up towards him by his chin.

“You okay?” Taemin mouths earnestly, scanning Jimin's face for some kind of hint. It was a stupid question, Jimin looks vacant, and he is, crushed, completely broken.

The younger nods unconvincingly, his eyes glazed over, not really registering the owner of the face he’s looking at, so Taemin doesn't press any further, because now isn't the time. 

As the clack of the older's shoes fade away, Jimin's eyes sink shut. The endless black expanse behind his eyelids brings with it a numbness, a still tranquility that is almost  _ too _ much. The empty silence inside him needs to be filled, and his twisted brain delves no further deeper than his most recent memory to wallow in. But now he’s too mellow to even try and fight it, he's so calm that he detaches himself from the sene all together, letting it replay over and over again like the ending might change.

Kissing. Shouting. Storming. Choking.

Before long he starts doubting himself, allowing his malleable mind to once again be manipulated by his own insecurities, questioning his right to be angry at all. Taemin wasn't his boyfriend. He never once implied they were exclusive. Jimin had just assumed the older shared his sentiment, that the date was more than just a formality for Taemin to get him into his bed. It’s not like Taemin was  _ cheating _ on him so.. has he really done anything wrong?

And what Sungwoon had said about him, well.. he's guessing it was about him, maybe it was true. Maybe Taemin had said as much. Maybe he hadn’t enjoyed that night at all. It didn’t stop it from hurting, the initial shock of hearing someone he thought knew him so well tear him down him so easily, discrediting his ability to satisfy someone, someone that it turns out, Sungwoon knows very intimately himself. God, it was humiliating, degrading... gratifying?

 

_ gratifying? _

The thought caught him by surprise as his mind ventures to an aberrant place it's never strayed before. The arrogance he recalls coursing through Sungwoon's voice makes the hairs at the nape of his neck stand straight with a biting chill and his hand instinctively latches to the site, rubbing absentmindedly. The touch sends a warm pulse down his spine, radiating in his crotch.

Wait.. is he getting hard?

The most jarring part of tonight, he comes to realise as the blood fills his cock, isn’t the heartache, isn't the anger, it's the betrayal. Not their betrayal, the betrayal of his own body. Here, now. And then. He should have looked away sooner, he should have broke it up, but he didn’t, because deep down he didn't  _ want  _ to. He couldn't understand it, but he _ liked _ seeing Taemin like that... and he wanted to see more. Like the morbid urge to look as you pass a car crash. Nobody really wants to see something catastrophic, but the curiosity prevails.

And that's exactly how Jimin felt, it was his own curiosity that pinned him in place, watching Taemin act so rough, so cruel, seeing Sungwoon accept his fate to that hands of that..  _ animal. _

Overhearing his alleged 'best friend' debase him hadn't been on his wish list either, but it made him feel so small and vulnerable, a mindset he’s grown to enjoy being in, especially if it means someone will take care of him afterwards...

He shivers at the thought, his hips bucking up into nothingness, his cock so hard it physically hurts, suffocating against the inside seam of his jeans .  _ Misplaced emotion, _ he tries to rationalise with himself,  _ that's all this is, not thinking straight… _ But there's another voice in his head louder than his own, and that's the one he focuses on.

_ ‘Aw Chim, it's okay, I'll show you what he likes.’  _ Imaginary Sungwoon hisses in his ear, so vividly he can almost feel his breath, warm and thick against the delicate little hairs inside his ear canal.

_‘Ignore him’,_ Taemin purrs and his voice is all around him until it's not, and suddenly he's not in the chair anymore, he's back outside, but he's the one standing against the wall, with Sungwoon’s lips grazing his ear lobe and his hand gliding ever closer towards his cock.

_‘You're such a good boy Minnie, my favourite’,_ his Taemin coos, _‘so perfect, so beautiful. That's why you're mine._ _You're mine.’_ The older storms towards him with that ferocious hunger he had outside earlier, that he had that night in the dance studio, and it’s too much.

He doesn't know what the hell is happening to him but it's all

too

much.

He rushes to his feet so quickly he nearly jumps off the ground, instantly flooding with regret as the chair screeches against the wooden floor beneath him. Now everyone's staring. With an awkward mumble and an apologetic wave of his hand, he shuffles towards the hallway, holding his phone in front of his crotch for dignity’s sake. He's so focused on hiding his shame and getting out of their as quick as possible that he doesn't notice the faint rustling of someone getting up off the sofa to follow him.

By the time he's at the top of the stairs he's not even hard anymore, the commotion he caused downstairs dispersed whatever fucked up picture his brain was illustrating and now he's just confused.

He's a few strides from the bathroom door when a hand grips his arm tightly, scaring him half to death.

“Jimin?” Taemin calls, “What happened?”

There's genuine concern running through Taemin's voice and it makes Jimin feel like  _ he's _ the bad guy.

“Ah- I'm just.. tired, I want to go home.” Jimin sulked dryly, hands crossed in front of his crotch  _ just in case _ , avoiding eye contact. “My home.” He clarified, emphasising his desire to be far away from either of them, somewhere he can make sense of everything.

Taemin would be lying if he said Jimin's answer didn't land like a solid punch to his gut. He thought he was his home, his comfort. They were going to stay together tonight  What happened? What changed? Jimin was discarding his concern so easily like it meant nothing.

He had no idea how to handle this kind of situation, what to say when it's obvious that Jimin is lying to his face. He's not one to talk, and the irony isn't lost on him, but this isn't like Jimin at all. Not wanting to push it, he steps back, mirroring the hostile body language Jimin is exuding. He considers for the first time that Sungwoon might have said something, that he's the reason his little angel is standing so lifeless in front of him, that this might be the beginning of the end. Suddenly his initial thought of giving him a ride home doesn't seem so appealing.   

“Okay, I can call you a cab?” Taemin offers as he turns on his heel, not waiting for a reply, his voice so quiet, almost shying away from what he knows is coming…

“That's it? Okay?” Jimin’s voice grows louder and unstable as he chokes back tears.

_ Shit,  _ Taemin thinks, the worst of his fears realised. Whatever it is, it  _ is  _ his fault. He turns back to face Jimin, holding him at arm's length, scanning his face for something more. “Wha..”

“I thought this meant something.” Jimin sobs as it all begins to pour out again. “I thought you wanted to be with me, I.. I gave you… but this whole time..”

Taemin's lost for words, his heart tearing in two upon hearing the anguish in Jimin's cries. This really is serious. _What did I do?_ _What do you know?_

“You’re with Woon.” Jimin spits like he could hear Taemin's pathetic rambling thoughts.

Taemin feels the sudden drop inside him, like the way his brain often misinterpreted the relaxing of his muscles in bed at night as a sign of falling, his whole body jerking awake into survival mode. This is his survival mode.

“No no no, Jimin” he hushes frantically as he leans in to the younger, grabbing hold of his shoulders. Part of Jimin wants to bat him away, to be out of the clasp that was pinning Sungwoon against the wall not too long ago, but he so desperately wants Taemin to have some kind of reasoning, some kind of excuse, to hold him until everything is right again.

“Baby no, I wanted you for so long, months, a whole year. You were all I thought about and I couldn't have you. Sungwoon..” Jimin winces at his best friend's name... “He fills a gap, that's all. It was you first, It was always you.”

He knows that he sounds like half the man he usually is. God, a month ago he would have mocked how pitiful he's acting, but he cares more about keeping Jimin than keeping face.

“What did he say to you?” He asks, before he digs his hole any deeper.

Jimin shook his head, his voice as feeble as it could be. “Nothing. I saw you, outside.”

_ Oh. _

Taemin’s hands drop down to his side. His mouth falls open ready to form some kind of sentence, to switch on that easy charm, but when his eyes meet Jimin’s, all he sees is pure, irrepressible torment and his heart stops. He has to be honest. He has to accept that he’s brought this on himself. There’s no excuse, he doesn’t even know why he kissed Sungwoon. A show of power? A stupid spur of the moment thing? He just wanted to shut the boy up, to exercise the control he’d been losing as each day passed. He’d slipped so easily into that place that Sungwoon fits perfectly into. And Sungwoon had been provoking him all night, using Jimin to get to him, knowing Taemin would snap.  _ It was his fault. _

But it doesn't matter now. It’s done. It’s all over.

Jimin's face warps into a scowl, annoyed that Taemin’s not even trying to defend himself. 

“You kissed him.” Jimin snarled into the silence, his throat rumbling.

Taemin blinked as the truth struck him. “No It’s not wh..”

“He said i’m not enough for you.” Jimin snapped, forcing Taemin’s hand off his shoulder. “That was me he’s talking about, right? What does that mean?” His voice grew louder, the tips of his ears turning a deep red as his eyes welled with the limited amount of tears he had left. “You were both making fun of me behind my back.”

“That's not true...”

“YOU WERE CHOKING HIM.” Stunned by the volume of his own voice, he blinks, taking a second to regain composure. And as the words left his mouth, he almost couldn’t believe he was saying them. “You were hurting him...” He pauses and stares in horror as the older seems to chuckle lightly, shaking his head at Jimin's naivety. “Who the hell are you?”

Taemin’s whole body deflates as the question pulls the air from his lungs, but he can’t say it’s unexpected. Because Jimin doesn’t really know him at all.

“I wasn't hurting him.” He objects, head still swaying from side to side as if that would help his response make any sense.

“You were strangling him” Jimin maintains, his voice wavering at Taemin’s unexpected denial, but he knows what he saw. “Against the wall, you were holding him by his neck Taemin... what else would you call that?”  

Taemin picks at the nail on his left thumb, deliberating whether or not this is the time or place to share  _ that  _ side of him with Jimin. He hasn't quite decided by the time he succumbs to the pressure of awkward silence, sharing only half-truths shrouded in ambiguity.

“I know. But I wasn’t hurting him, not really. He wanted me to.”

“Why would he want you to strangle him?!” Jimin quizzes, his eyes squinting with scepticism.

“Because he knew I needed to.” Taemin replies, giving nothing else away.

It didn’t really make sense to Jimin at all, but Taemin's straight-forward response felt like a case-closing kind of statement, and Jimin suddenly felt stupid for not understanding. It only prompted more questions, none of which could be answered by Jimin's own mind.

His eyes fall to Taemin's collar, darting frantically between the top two button holes as he tries to read between the lines, to find the information Taemin was omitting, but it gets him nowhere.

“I would never give him more than he can take.” The older continues calmly, drip-feeding Jimin more unhelpful context.

“Than he can take? For gods sake, what does any of this mean?” Jimin whines. The perplexity was wearing him thin and Taemin, having sensed the moment Jimin switched from angry to whiny, is quick to try and take advantage.

He closes the distance, brushing the younger's shoulder as the pet name purrs from his lips.

“Baby, we'll talk about this, just somewhere else.” Taemin compels, desperately trying to take control of the situation, to go somewhere he feels more comfortable, his own ground. “Let’s go back to mine.”

Jimin knows if they move this conversation somewhere else, he'll lose momentum, he'll calm down and then he’ll be too easy to persuade, too susceptible to the charms of the man he's so deeply in love with. He's gone through such a rollercoaster of emotions tonight, he can't take any more. Yet still he considers the offer, because he needs the truth. He begrudgingly drags his heavy lids back up to meet Taemin's eyes, and it looks like he's about to cave when-

“I’ll tell you.” Sungwoon chimes in as he appears in the doorway, leaning against it with folded arms. For once, he’s not really smiling either.

Taemin’s face morphs instantly, the soft frown turning to a sharp glare, his apologetic eyes darkening, his brow furrowing into a harsh V.

“GET OUT.” He snarls, charging towards him, but Sungwoon doesn’t flinch. Why would he?

“Stop.” Jimin pleads with an exhausted sigh and Taemin halts abruptly. “I just want to hear it.. please, someone just tell me what is going on.”

“Not here. Not another word.” Taemin orders viciously, his eyes still burrowing into Sungwoon, but the command is clearly directed at both of them.

It was uncomfortable, how still and dry the air felt around them as soon as Taemin finished speaking, how the sounds of the others joking around downstairs seemed so distant. Jimin quickly grew self-conscious of how visible his heart beat was in his chest, his heart thumping against his ribcage with such force it moved his whole body. But there it was again, that undeniable flush tingling underneath his cheeks, that arousal building deep inside him. It almost, _almost,_ makes him forget he was even mad at all.

The tension in the older's face fades as his focus changes from Sungwoon to Jimin, the difference in his approach clearer than night and day.

“Baby, we’re leaving.” He avowed feebly with an outstretched hand.

"But I..” Jimin starts to protest, quickly muted by the lump that gets caught in his throat when Taemin’s face warps into a sharp warning glare. Defeated and surprisingly complaisant, Jimin's mouth settles into a hard line and he takes the older’s hand.

The three of them roam down the stairs in silence, Sungwoon trailing behind awkwardly, unsure if he’s even meant to be following.

Taemin guides Jimin to the front door, leaving him like a child whose parent has warned them to stay on one spot whilst they go and deal with something. And in this case, Taemin needs to go deal with Sungwoon.

The two talk between themselves in the cloakroom doorway with hushed, muffled voices, the stern, dangerous tone of Taemin’s voice the only thing setting their whispers apart. And it was mainly Taemin talking,  _ scolding _ , speaking in his own language that Jimin couldn't understand. It wasn't a long conversation, if you could even call it that, but Jimin felt every single drawn out second of it, waiting around with no real purpose like they'd both forgotten he was even there, until Taemin was back by his his side, grabbing his wrist a fraction too tightly.

“Tell everyone Jimin was feeling faint and I’m taking him home to make sure he gets some rest.” Taemin tells Sungwoon as he pulls open the front door. The younger nods, hanging back half-way down the hallway, before calling after him with a sincerity that neither of them have heard in a long time.

“T… I’m sorry.”

Taemin retraces his steps, dragging Jimin behind him, and cups Sungwoon’s cheek, sighing in frustration. Jimin physically  _ winces  _ at how familiar the touch seems, how Sungwoon's eyes sink shut with comfort as he leans into Taemin's palm.

The youngest can’t help but succumb to the envy that crawls over him. He knows exactly how Sungwoon feels right now, the warmth radiating through him, the anticipation of Taemin's next words dizzying his thoughts. The relief he'll soon feel when Taemin reassures him, compliments him, praises him.

But that's not what Sungwoon's waiting for.

And that's not what he gets.

In a low, husky voice that scratches through the air, Taemin vows his promise.

“You will be.”


End file.
